


Times Like These

by tragicallywicked



Series: Times Verses [1]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Peggy Carter Lives, Skinny Steve, Steggy + Children, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 00:15:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3670302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tragicallywicked/pseuds/tragicallywicked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Margaret Carter couldn't expect to live so long with the same face, with the same body, in a world constantly changing around her. But not even in her wildest dreams, she could have imagined she'd be there to have a second chance with her long lost lover, Steve Rogers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Clocks

**Author's Note:**

> I'm dedicating this to all the people who liked the headcanons posts that based this on my tumblr, replied to them, messaged me about them, etc. You know who you are, so thank you for the endless encouragement. Thanks to my beta Ashley, I know it's a journey correcting my stuff. Let's see where this leads. Good reading!

**Clocks, Chapter One**

“The lights go out and I can't be saved,  
Tides that I tried to swim against.  
(…)  
Come out upon my seas,  
Cursed missed opportunities”

\- _Clocks_ , Coldplay

**BROOKLYN, NYC. Early in 2011.**

Mornings had always been the best hours of the day for Peggy Carter. Maybe because of her time serving, during the Second World War. Then, the agent, who trained new soldiers for the battlefield, followed strict schedules, lists of endless tasks to herself and the soldiers. Things that kept that environment, the reality world inserted itself into, on the proper track. Margaret had always been one of serious manners; some gave it to her British origins, but she believed it was simply the way she had adapted to the war scenario. Her parents had most certainly been serious people, full of rules that gave life an amount of safety—you see, when you have a list and something goes wrong, you can put the blame on the list instead of yourself. And Margaret's family had always worked this way indeed. But both her relatives and the war were long gone and she still found herself held onto old habits.

It had been almost seventy years ever since the world freed itself from chaos, smoke and gunshots noise surrounding towns. The world had changed so much. From technology to dressing habits and the way people saw the other's differences—to which Peggy always found to be the best of advances, after all that whole hellhole had started for someone believing to be superior. She had adapted to this new world. But there were things that hadn't changed for Agent Carter. The first and most  _significant_  of them was her external appearance. Obviously not the most  _important_ , at least not to Peggy. In seventy years, her hair had grown, but not a single lock of grey hair had. Her face had gained at least one wrinkle, but it took seventy and not the five to ten years she had been expecting. Her body hadn't turned flaccid and showed the gravity did bring effect to people's body, quite the opposite. Peggy was still the same strong, curvy, old-school-body woman she had been during the war.

All that didn't change on her exterior, changed on interior. Her toughness, her mind, her understanding of what was to serve a cause. She was still the same Peggy, brave, open minded, willing to help the others. She had seen and lived too much though, and no human went through that much time alive, without changing somehow. Seeing others grow old, die, new people be born, and also grow up, while you stay the very same figure you had always been. It'd have been hard to do it alone. Changing places every ten to fifteen years, trying not to drag much attention from others, but Peggy wasn't alone.

Sarah Grace Rogers-Carter had been born in the 40s, daughter of Margaret Carter and the deceased soldier Steven Rogers. Unlike her mother, Sarah had changed during the years, but all very slowly. Until she reached the age of five, Sarah had showed perfectly normal growth, even if tinier than the other kids. Her first year had been especially complicated but all due the health problems the little girl got from her father. Between five and twelve years-old, Peggy faced more serious matters with her daughter. Sarah would feel constant pains and the nights were indeed sleepless. Even if the previous years hadn't been the calmest, as Sarah had the strongest lungs and the most peculiar personality, nothing had compared to the period the serum started affecting the young girl's DNA.

Howard Stark, her godfather, ran several exams on her, and Peggy along the way. In a few years, they didn't even need test results anymore to be sure they had been affected by it after receiving genetic material from Steve. After turning twelve, where children usually start facing puberty signals, Sarah started aging slower. Her body went opposite side of the age development, growing bolder, stronger, in a fast speed. Peggy removed her from school and Sarah began to be home-schooled. It was hard enough explaining all that to a twelve year-old, imagine to an entire school. Peggy didn't want to bring attention to them, neither her daughter to suffer.

Having to divide her time between raising Sarah and working for the secret agency herself, Howard and Colonel Phillips had founded, her morning habits became even more frequent. She'd wake up every morning around five, prepare tea, separate Sarah's lessons, finish S.H.I.E.L.D.'s paperwork for the day, make breakfast, wake up Sarah, eat together, teach her, leave her with Howard's butler—and her good friend, Jarvis, and then head to work. That went on for years, daily. Now, that Sarah was frequenting college—for the third time, and she only ran S.H.I.E.L.D. from a far, Peggy didn't need to wake up early for any apparent reason. Still, she found herself sliding out of bed when sunrise came.

"How come you're  _always_  up so early, mom?" In her morning's terrible face, the blond haired seventy year-old, that looked more like twenty-two, asked between a yawn. Her long locks were messy, her face seemed smashed and the blue eyes so bulky that Peggy questioned internally if the girl was really awake or sleep walking. Sarah, with the years, had turned into a heavy sleeper which always made her question if Steve would have been like this outside the war.

Many years ago, Peggy had let her long lost love, her darling, she had let him go. Never made it less hard to think about him, to remember him, she had just grown to have the memories be found instead of saddening. Sarah was a female copy of Steve, so it was almost impossible not to have him in mind on a daily basis, after and before she was born.

"How come you're  _always_  so messy in the morning?" When Sarah tumbled onto the desk almost spilling the tea she had served herself with, Peggy tried to refrain herself of even smiling at the scene. In the mornings, it was when Sarah reminded Peggy the most about the scrawny Steve she first met.

"I came in late last night." Sarah excused herself, seating in front of her mother and grabbing a piece of cheese that was on the table. She reached for a piece of bread and ripped it in small pieces with her hands. "That mission we were assigned with, it was bullshit. I can't believe those HYDRA bastards really think we wouldn't notice their recent activity in North, fucking above our heads."

"Language." Peggy raised a brow before casually sipping on her tea. She knew all about it, as Fury and Coulson had been updating her on the details. "Fury told me you got the man."

"Yea, well, her pulled a gun at me." Peggy's throat always tightened when she was given those types of details, even after so many years of the two working for the agency together. "We brought him for questioning, he didn't spill a word, he just smiled." Sarah shrugged. "Actually, he said we should have searched deeper in the ice for our belonging. You have any idea what's that supposed to mean?" Peggy shook her head, as confused as her daughter. "Well, I know Fury sent someone up. They're going to dig the area."

"He told me." She nodded. The mother made a pause and narrowed her eyes when the daughter picked up a piece of ham with her hand. "Use the silverware, for the love of God, Sarah Rogers." Sarah held her hands up and reached for the fork. Her apology smile was so awkward and yet so cute. "What I can't put together is not why they'd bring our attention there; spill that out and then the guy just killed himself like they did back in the forties." Sarah wasn't surprised Peggy knew more information than she had told. She still raised her brow at her though. "Fury sent me the report." Peggy cleared. "I can't even think of what their plan is. But they do have one very well settled."

"Fury said he'd let us know if something was found…" Honestly, Sarah didn't think it could lead them to anything. The icy region was lifeless, hard to reach and nothing could possibly exist there. The blonde thought it was helpless to look there. "I for one think it's a dead end. But it'll be good to have a couple of days off while they ice skate for clues."

Peggy shook her head at her daughter's comments. She missed Steve's optimism in Sarah, but maybe it was her own fault for that. She had been a pessimist one until she met him, but even then, it was hard changing old habits. Peggy couldn't possibly have raised a hopeful child like Steve had been. "Just give them time." Fishing for a piece of toast that had had been on the table, Peggy buttered the bread and bit into it. "I've finished my paperwork before you woke up. Do you want to go to Central Park?"

"I have an assignment for the arts class that's due in two weeks that I couldn't start. I might want the inspiration." Sarah nodded, making her mother smile over the cup.

"What is it about?" Peggy wondered with curiosity. Sarah had always been a great and talented artist. She had a master degree in Fine Arts by now and coursed Art Studio program at NYU. She already had a degree and people didn't know about it—nothing a couple of fake documents couldn't handle, so Sarah held her strings. Still, with her talent, she out stood other students easily.

"It's open, free of themes." Sarah's sigh sounded awfully strange to her mother.

"That was never a problem to you."

"I've been having trouble finding inspiration." Sarah swung her shoulders up and down once. "I don't know, I wanted to draw something I relate to. Maybe something that represents who I am. But everything in our life is a secret." The worried look Peggy gave her made Sarah pause and shake her head quickly. "I'm not complaining. I like our life. I'm just questioning my existence in an overall. I should be seventy by now. With children, maybe grandchildren."

"Is that something about Sharon?" Peggy suddenly inquired, Sarah shook her head.

"You know I get along just fine with Cousin Sharon. Even if it's weird I saw her in her mother's belly and now she's starting to look older than me." Sarah sipped her tea mindlessly. "I'm just trying to figure out why this happened to us. Don't come saying science, mom…" She warned before could Peggy could interfere. "With dad was different, he agreed on that. He went on that journey knowing all the risks. Same thing with Nat. Though I think she wasn't ever willing to that… But you and I? That was so unlikely."

"You're always so dramatic." Peggy let a grin escape,  _just like your father_ , she completed mentally with a shake of head. "We were in contact with his genetic material, you know that. You got his DNA directly. When Steve was put into that procedure, he knew there'd be risks. But neither of us knew  _how_   _many_. Dr. Erskine couldn't have predicted this, actually maybe he could. But it's late to find out. He created improved human capacities. We're here, Sarah, we're living just longer than others. That's it."

"Are we?" She questioned. "Are we really living or just surviving through? Because there's a big difference." Those words send a message to Peggy and, putting her tea down, the mother crossed her arms over her chest.

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Sarah Grace Rogers-Carter." The full name sent a shiver down the girl's spine. "I will  _not_  ask again."

"A guy in my class. He kissed me." Peggy knew there was more, but she was unsure of wanting further details on  _that_. "I remembered Gustave, when we spent those years in England." The guy had dated Sarah for a very long time and died tragically. Peggy never told Sarah that he was HYDRA. That hadn't neither been the first, nor the last, thing she kept from Sarah to prevent her from hurting. "I know it's been so,  _so_  long. But it reminded me what is to be actually liked by someone. On how many chances of building a family I've wasted already…" There was a desolated look in her eyes that actually crushed Peggy.

Reaching forward, Peggy held her hand over the table. "Don't you think I'd have loved for you to have children? Grandchildren running around the house, calling me grandma?" Her thumb caressed Sarah's palm softly. "But I don't think you should give up on the idea, Sarah. If you're question why are you here, why you age slowly, why the serum affected you… Why couldn't it be because the person you're destined to meet is actually living in this century?"

Sarah always asked herself how come her mother could be so strong, so brave. "You lost dad, mom. What if I already lost that  _one_  person?" Peggy always noticed how Sarah never talked genders, how she always had female friends that seemed closer than others. The idea had crossed her mind before. But the two spoke very little about relationships and she knew her daughter was adapted to the night-stands practice of this century. She wouldn't be surprised, to be real. Homosexual relationships weren't something of this decade or the previous, like people nowadays were used to think. They just were more out of the four walls than their ancients. Sarah was a versatile person, Peggy was open minded. If turned out to be the cause, she would always be proud of her daughter at the end of the day.

"I lost him, but I got you. You're my one true love, my darling." Peggy said softly, smiling, Sarah smiled too, but then she grinned and the mother knew why. "And if you're talking about something more than maternal love, you know I've been with other men along the years. Because I'm human and indeed, I have needs sometimes. It's good to be liked, loved. But my point is. All you need to be happy is yourself, Sarah. Neither me, nor a lover. Just you, my darling."

"I'm not unhappy with my existence. I'm just questioning it." She shrugged.

"I know, because you're an unquiet mind."

"Was dad like that?" Peggy nodded, chuckling. She had no idea how much. "I must have taken from him."

"Undoubtedly."

There were a few moments of silence, while their minds both lurked far and the teas sat untouched on the mugs. Peggy was the first one to break it, reaching for her drink, taking it down and bringing the mug to the sink. The cold water cracking her fingers when she turned the wrong thread, being absence minded. She cursed under her breath and that brought Sarah back, glancing her mother and grinning.

"Thinking about dad, huh." Peggy shrugged. Sarah knew she always got distracted when her thoughts went seventy years back, to the scrawny boy Sarah had seen through pictures—because even though she saw several photos of his muscular and improved self, she knew her mother always had admired the skinny figure her father had been. Sarah never forgot any of the stories about him and she admired him too, dearly.

"Finish your breakfast and let's go to Central Park. I'll go change." Peggy paused behind Sarah, leaning over and placing a kiss on her blond gold hair. "Don't take too long, my darling."

Sarah nodded and her mind wandered off again, she was also thinking back in time, though not so very long like Peggy had gone.

* * *

They were taking pictures of trees—that the leaves started to grow back with the start of Spring, when Peggy's phone rang, a call from Fury's direct line. The clock was striking eight am and when Fury was so punctual, it seemed a reason to be worrying about. She excused from Sarah and walked a few steps before picking up.

"Fury." She said in her polite tone. Nick Fury was a man she always trusted dearly and even though he wasn't always perfect, there wasn't anyone better to be in charge of S.H.I.E.L.D. than him.

"Morning, Agent Carter." He made a pause. "I'm sorry to be calling you so early."

"I've been awake for a while." That night, most of the night, honestly. "Is it everything alright?" On her short jog, Peggy found a bench to sit down. It was hard to read the signals through a phone call and she could never know what could come from it.

"Peggy, I need you to come into the base." Fury instructed, very clear. Peggy was opening her mouth to ask again what had happened when he continued. "We found him. We found Captain Rogers."

The deepest and most painful of all the sounds came.

"Agent Carter?"

More silence.


	2. In My Veins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy and Sarah learn about Steve's condition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments! Endless thank to my beta, miss Ashley. Next chapters shall be longer and emotional, brace yourselves, loves.

**In My Veins, Chapter Two**

“Nothing goes as planned  
Everything will break  
People say goodbye  
In their own special way  
(…)  
All that you rely on,  
And all that you can save  
Will leave you in the morning  
Come find you in the day.”

\- _In My Veins_ , Andrew Belle

**S.H.I.E.L.D.’s Base, NYC.**

Trembling, shaking, fluttering, and quivering. Although redundant, Peggy never thought she could possibly feel those synonyms altogether in her body. Ever since she got that call from Fury, the woman had barely been able to pronounce a full sentence other than " _Take me to S.H.I.E.L.D._ " to her daughter. Sarah had been worried, not only her mother wasn't talking, but she looked as white as winter snow in its first fall. Peggy wished she could say anything; tell her daughter they had found Steve's body after so many years. For God's sake, Margaret had been looking for that closure for seventy years. It was hard dealing with the fact it had indeed came.

They took Sarah's car to S.H.I.E.L.D. and when they got there, Fury was waiting to escort them. Taking by the confusion in the blonde girl's face, Fury knew she had no clue what was going on. Natasha was right there with them and after he suggested Sarah went with Natasha, she knew something was up. But Sarah was good at following orders.

As for Peggy, anxiousness had taken over her body. No tears had rolled down, no inquiry pronounced. Suggesting everything was stuck inside, like a ticking bomb about to explode. Fury thought it was unlikely. But then again, that situation was nothing they had ever imagined, Peggy knew only half of it. When the call came at two in the morning, Fury was fast asleep. He didn't think he'd hear back so quickly from his researchers, it was never a bad time to catch up on the lost sleep hours. At first, it seemed like a bad joke. But things made sense. HYDRA dragging attention to the North area, the man they caught so easily, how he killed himself the same way people did back in the Second World War. All clues they wouldn't ever think could add to result the discovery of Captain America's body. Fury's concern remained. _Why_ they didn't take that opportunity to have America's greatest hero on their side. He had pondered possibilities and them not knowing Captain Steve Rogers was indeed alive wasn't one of them.

Tony Stark greeted them at a door in one of the underground floors at S.H.I.E.L.D's New York base. Peggy frowned, wondering what her _nephew_ had been doing there after all. Fury took the lead to start preparing Agent Carter on what was to come.

"Agent Carter, Mr. Stark agreed on coming to help out defrost Captain Rogers last night." He started very calmly. Tony, like his father, paid attention to details, in both of them. Fury seemed too calm, Peggy too quiet. Although the woman he knew his entire life as his aunt, and years awkwardly made her look younger than him, did look very pale. "It was when our doctors noticed his brain activity in a very lower level."

Peggy's air disappeared. "Meaning?" She knew what it meant, but it sounded impossible when it echoed in her brain. Then again, what was truly impossible? Margaret should be ninety, her daughter seventy. They should have aged, lived, went through all those stages life requested them to. There she was, frozen in time. Like Steve had been. Time was so curious and volatile, she shouldn't be that surprised, yet her lower lip quivered.

"Aunt Peggy." Stark gave her a look, crossing his arms. She didn't expect him to be serious, at any moment of his life. It was incredible how a child could copy a parent behavior without realizing, even if loathing it. Impressive, how children learned without parents even wanting to teach. Although she didn't hope him to be thoughtful, Peggy was ready to punch him if he made any kind of funny or sarcastic comment. "He's alive." Then again, people could surprise her.

" _How?_ "

"I suppose the serum kept his body in activity, like when you go into a coma. The levels are lower, but you're still there." Tony shrugged, that was his theory and mainly the only possible cause. "When we lowered the temperatures, we were able to notice pulse, breathing and cerebral activity. We don't know how his body is going to react, but we've been defrosting him slowly, so it isn't too harsh on him. There's no ice anymore, but he's still in a cold environment."

"Do you think he'll wake up?" At this point, Margaret Carter could believe anything, even that this was just another dream.

"We can't be sure—" Fury was realistic, but Tony stopped.

"Look, he's been living like a popsicle for seventy years," Peggy raised her brow at Tony, but it was not like he ever took her reproving looks, neither as a kid. So he went on, "we can't really be certain of anything. But it's enough hope we found him and alive. I think we need to do at this point is wait and see how it follows. His brain activity and vital signals have been raising." Peggy nodded.

She was opening her mouth to ask about seeing him when an alarm interrupted them. Fury went to a nearby computer and typed with concern. The alarm went off, but he kept moving his fingers with agility. "Someone invaded the system." They both glanced at Tony who held his hands up in defense. The next second, Fury got a message from Natasha, excusing herself for the mistake. "I'll double check this with her. Stark, can you take her to…?" And after the nod, the bald man disappeared.

"Are you ready?"

"I've been waiting for seventy years."

* * *

“Oh, you're in my veins  
And I cannot get you out  
Oh, you're all I taste  
At night inside of my mouth.”

\- _In My Veins_ , Andrew Belle

Peggy entered the room alone, after receiving instructions from Tony. The chamber was chilly, around 50 degrees—quite better than the -22 degrees environment they had found Steve's body. The lights were down but the place wasn't dark as the equipment around him gave the place some lighting. Stark had recommended her not to turn them on, as Steve had been in the dark for plenty years and they'd still adapt him illumination. He had said his body was in full recovery, as if nothing had actually happened to him, which was beyond impressive. All Peggy could really reason in her mind was that Steve was actually there.

The only sound to be heard was the steady pace of a heartbeat measuring machine and Peggy's quickened breathing.

The first sight of his face made her eyes water. It was really him, really Steve. For a while, she didn't move. Even after a hundred years, she'd be able to recognize that massive figure of a man that was lying on that hospital bed, covered by a thick duvet. Peggy remembered the day he had turned this way, when that skinny boy from Brooklyn became a hot meatloaf of man. She had her eyes on him _way_ before. When he had out stood other soldiers by proving intelligence counted to winning a war, not only muscles. That strategy needed more people like him, scrawny _good_ men. Hell, Peggy wouldn't ever forget the day he jumped over that dummy grenade and protected everyone in camp or when he boldly got the flag without having to showoff toughness or strength, just brains. It was when he caught her attention, though she wasn't sure if even before, when Steve came into the training field carrying a bag full of books.

Then, they were already friends. She remembered the first time she spoke to him, about one of the literature pieces her had brought. Steve was very genuine, respectful. Always feeling like he was stepping on eggs though, every time Peggy asked him a question with an amused smile. She remembered his face relaxing when he was told to call her by the name simply, when they were outside training. Margaret recalled with perfection hearing her name roll out of his tongue, like a melody.

She remembered so many details. The blush on his face when she called him Steve for the first time, or his face the time she found his drawing notepad and Steve couldn't refuse when Peggy asked to look at it. It never escaped her memory how it was to find a drawing of herself in there and how Steve swallowed harsh down as she was leaning down to kiss him for the first time.

Their first kiss! His uneasy and so generous lips, soft as she imagined they'd be. His inexperienced mouth covering hers with excitement, Steve proving himself to be a fast learner, a dedicated student. Most of all, the after all mess her scarlet lipstick made on his face, his mushy blond locks proving her own frenzy. Memories she abstained herself from having for so very long time—even if though they would come abruptly, uninvited, most of the time. Now they just seemed to flow, streaming down copying the tears on her face. On a slow flash of everything they went through. Their stolen kisses, their talks beneath night skies, their shared strategies, their whispered promises, exchanged mumbles, every time the bodies allowed combining as one, _every single_ eyes glimpse switched, their last goodbye. A painful flashback, a lifetime lived in too short time compared to everything Peggy went through after that. Still, never less important. So for a while, she didn't know how long, Peggy just stood there, _remembering_. If all this was just a dream, she had every single laugh they exchanged together to remember.

When her body finally found the strength to move, Peggy first placed her bag in a chair nearby, calmly. Approaching the bed with a painful slow pace and caution wasn't an easy task as her body hadn't stopped trembling ever since she entered the room. When her hand found his, so cold and stiff, Peggy's heart took a high leap. He felt as cold as a corpse, but she could feel the blood running when her fingers pressed harder against his palm. Then, not only Peggy's heartbeat hurried on a faster beat. The beeping of the machine sent an alert outside and Stark entered the room, interrupting their moment.

"He's still asleep." Peggy said her eyes wide and lurking at the screens.

"What did you do?" Tony asked with wonder.

"Pressed his palm." Peggy cleared her throat and cheeks when Tony narrowed his eyes, staring at her face for a moment.

"His brain activity has increased. He might be hearing us now but it's a possibility he won't remember this when he's awake." The possibility of Steve not remembering _everything_ _else_ crossed her mind, and Tony's as well, but she was scared it could concretize itself if she put it out loud. So, none of them said a word on that. "Try speaking to him."

Peggy nodded, eyes darting back to Steve. What was to say? Oh, so many things. But all so very intimate to be saying with someone present there. She loved Tony dearly, but Peggy felt rather distressed and pressured about having to let out her first words after, seventy years, to Steve in front of Tony. She tried to think it was for his own good, that maybe knowing they were day could help his recover.

"My darling," her other hand also fished for his, applying a caress against it "can you hear me? Steve, this is Peggy. I'm here, my darling…" She mumbled, trying to contain the damn tears that insisted on coming up again. His heartbeat took another leap. Tony waved her to continue. "Steve? If you can hear me… We found you, you're alive." The words sounded like a calming mantra, to both the lady seating by the bed and the man resting on it. After a while, his heartbeat steadied back to normal track.

"It's normal again. But it's a few beats higher." Tony cleared, crossing his arms. "I guess grandpa there likes hearing your voice." Peggy rolled her eyes. She wasn't smiling. But Tony could see the small curve on the right side of her lips. "I'll let you catch him up on how the last seven decades, I hate long monologues."

"Tony, do you know where Sarah is?" She remembered suddenly.

"With Agent Romanoff. I'm heading out before Fury catches me and forces me into telling my latest development on the clean energy technology for the Stark tower. But Aunt Peggy, call me if you need help finding grandpa there a wheelchair or something." Peggy shook her head momentarily and sighed. She never imagined someone could be more lovable and irritating than Howard.

"Thank you, Tony."

They were left alone again and Peggy stood a few more seconds glancing at his peaceful sleep.

"I'm here, my darling." She repeated her previous words, heart leaping and cheeks shaking. "You're late, but I've been waiting for you to come back to me, Steve. I won't let you slip away this time. I promise you." When her hand touched his face, Peggy could swear she felt his fingers brushing against her hand all very softly and quick.

It gave her the highest of hopes.

* * *

Sarah had texted her a little later in the day, saying she'd sleep over at a friend's house to finish up her school work. She had asked if Peggy was okay and when the mother confirmed, Sarah figured Peggy still didn't know the information she knew. Even though, in the morning, she had seemed pretty shocked, Sarah doubted her mother would have been so calm if she had learned what she did when Natasha was teaching her about hacking and they accidentally entered S.H.I.E.L.D.'s system.

She couldn't have imagined they'd come across information on the recent searches on the North, neither that they'd bring her the knowledge of her father's body discovery. That had been what HYDRA tipped them about, what the man _she_ got, that _she_ interviewed had been playing about. Her father. That figure Sarah always pictured like fairy tales had been found and even more shockingly, he was in fact alive. Although she didn't know, like her mother, Sarah stood quite long staring at his face on the screen, swallowing down the information. Remembering. All the pictures, all the stories. That her mom, Howard, Angie, Jarvis, that all of them would tell—knowing him or not. How they always spoke of her father, how adventurous it all seemed. Every time made her proud, sad, mad, and frustrated, at the same time. She cursed HYDRA, she cursed God, the universe, everything with a bad sense of humor that didn't let her meet him. And now he was alive.

There were so many questions. But the only one she had said was to Natasha, inquiring if she knew about that. None of them did. Sarah wasn't surprised. Fury's secret had secrets. She thought on how her mother could have been fed up with that information at that very same time she accidentally found out. But if it wasn't the case, Sarah doubted she could be the one to break the news to Peggy. If anything, she knew her mother would tell her. Still, she needed some time to digest it.

She didn't go to a friend's house, she asked Natasha for shelter. Natasha had always been a close friend. Sarah's connection to Clint and Natasha's trust on the same man brought the two together and they had their own way of carrying on what could somewhat be called a friendship. So she didn't bother receiving Sarah in her household, she advised her to talk to her mother though. The blond did feel slightly guilty because if Peggy already knew, they'd both need each other's arms as a comfort. But Sarah need space to clear her mind, to think that through, to figure out if it couldn't all be a set-up from HYDRA.

That night, Peggy couldn't close her eyes for endless hours. She tried freeing her mind but when it showed to be a hard task, she slid on her robe and went through old pictures, siting in the living room with just a small lamp on. She found several photographs. Of herself in the battlefield, of Steve there, of his unit with her and Phillips by their side, of Ve day, Sarah's first photo, her mother and Sarah, Sarah and Howard, herself with Howard, one of Jarvis, Tony young and Sarah. So many memories, those moments carried so many stories, so many things she wished to have shared with Steve. Occasions she now could and would, when the proper time came.

When Peggy finally slid back into bed and allowed herself some of quietness of sleep, she dreamed about him.

It was so vivid, so believable, so real that almost felt as a future prediction than a dream.


	3. Bloodstream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashbacks and Steve wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the flashbacks are not confusing! But let me know if it is, for future usage. Good reading!

**Bloodstream, Chapter Three**

I don't know where he's been.   
But he is restless at night,   
He has horrible dreams.   
(…)   
So we lay in the dark   
Cause we've got nothing to say.  
 Just the beating of hearts,   
Like two drums in the grey.

 _\- Run,_ Daughter

 

 

**Peggy Carter's apartment, New York City. Somewhere in 1940s.**

"What do you mean carrying his child, Peggy?" Howard Stark, the billionaire philanthropist that he was, had never been so shocked in his entire life. The expression shown was of a mixture of concern, surprise and pity. The last one annoyed Margaret Carter so much it caused a shiver to go down her spine.

"Don't look at me like that, Howard." Shoving clothes to a small travel bag, Peggy was dubious whether that happening was completely thrilling or saddening. Given the recent circumstances, she would never find a conclusion to that. "It is exactly what you bloody heard. I'm pregnant. It's Steve's child. Obviously."

"I didn't know you two…"

"Fondued?" There was a smirk on her lips, but Howard saw beyond all those layers, he faced the sadness hidden behind that word when she nodded. Her lips were pressed together in a fine line, containing herself, being the strong and brave woman she always wanted to be. That she was. Peggy didn't want Howard's pity, she wanted his help. His embrace was accepted without second thoughts though and she allowed herself to crack. Just the slightest bit, as some tears rolled down, her face burring on his shoulder.

Howard wasn't accustomed to these situations, not when he cared so much for the crying woman. The patting on her back was weird at start, but it transformed on a comforting caress. "What is that you said you needed from me?" He questioned when they parted.

Peggy wiped her cheeks calmly and folded the clothes on her bed. "I'm going back to England, at least for the next year. I arranged something at the SSR office Phillips had put me in. But I highly doubt they're worrying about my absence. I'm sure there's a party going on at the moment." They both chuckled in sync, Howard crossed his arms.

"You need a plane?" Peggy shook her head reaching for the flight ticket properly bought.

"I need you to stay out of trouble here in New York, Howard. I can't lose you too." Her serious tone didn't surprise him, neither her lack of amusement when he smiled. "I'm serious, Howard."

"I see that. You sound very motherly already." He reached for his arm after she punched him, groaning. "See." Although she her rolled eyes, Peggy was smiling.

"Are you sure you don't want to go in one of my planes?" Peggy shook her head very purposefully. "There isn't anything else I can do, Peggy?"

"Just keep yourself out of trouble." She repeated, placing the clothes more carefully and organized now on the bag.

"Besides that."

"I'll be alright. I've wrote to my parents already and they already wrote back. My mother encouraged me to come back home and they'd help me. On other circumstances, I wouldn't. But everyone at work knew about my closeness with Steve. I don't want to be looked at as the girl who got pregnant with Cap's baby."

"I know for sure Rogers wouldn't like you seen that way." The both nodded, but Howard had frowned brows. "Are you just going to hide the child after you come back?"

"Absolutely not." Peggy looked at him like that had been outrageous and he held his hands up. "I'll figure out something. I just don't want to be serving coffee to those idiots while they mock my swollen stomach." Peggy had been around her third month now and soon enough the bump was going to start showing.

"Well, you two can always stay at my house when you come back. I'm sure Jarvis would go nuts with a baby at the house… But he'd like it." Howard laughed, picturing that.

"Bloody hell, I don't want to drive your butler insane, Howard." She closed the bag with a roll of eyes. "Besides, there's plenty time for me to figure it all out." Peggy pulled the heavy object up and Howard reached forward to help her. She didn't deny it and they shared a smile. "I'll miss you, Stark."

"Don't worry, I'll stop by to visit you in London. Meet the old folks. Bet the other Carters are nicer than you." Peggy laughed a little, shaking her head.

"I bet they'll adore your American spirit." Neither of them said, but both thought of how much they'd have loved Steve then, thinking on that logic. Peggy was the first one to shake the thought away, not wanting to cry again. She took a look at her apartment in Brooklyn and sighed, biting her lower lip. Maybe because of the saddening memories she built in there during the past three months, it was actually good to go. But Brooklyn always reminded her of Steve, she felt divided. Peggy would have something way more important to remind herself of him though.

"You'll be back soon." Howard cheered, like he had read her deepest thoughts now. "C'mon, I can at least take you to the airport."

"I don't expect any less from you."

* * *

 Even after battling on the war, even after losing the love of her life, Peggy wouldn't ever have thought that giving birth to a child was so crushing. After seven hours of labor, she was starting to feel defeated, tired and hopeless. The doctors were starting to worry that the child might be suffering as the contractions had been coming so closely and strong for the past thirty minutes and Peggy couldn't seem to get the strength to push out. The doctors decided to give her a moment to breath and it was when her mother came to her help. The last time Peggy had cried so much was when Steve disappeared in the middle of that phone call. Then, she was alone. Now, her mother's comforting hold was fulfilling, but still not the grip Peggy had been hoping, deep down, to get.

"I can't do this, mother." She sobbed. Even if her tears rolled down extremely heavy, strong and endlessly, Peggy was still a British woman and her desperation seemed like a quiet storm. "I can't."

"Do not talk nonsense, Margaret Carter." Suddenly, the comforting mother became serious, severe. "I know what you're thinking. That you wanted him here, that you can't do this without him."

"I—"

"Bloody Nora, Peggy." She intruded again. "I did not get the chance to meet Steve Rogers, but from what I remember of your letters, he was a brave man. That inspired you and that you provided support and strength as well. He wouldn't have wanted you to give up. Especially not in such an important moment, Margaret."

"Mother, you don't understand." She shook her head as the tears continued rolling down in an awfully heartbreaking way. "You had father your whole life to support you. I lost him, mother. How am I going to raise a child alone?"

"You're being so foolish! You trained an entire American army, Peggy, need I remind you? You did so much more than I did. You're a great woman, my daughter. And you'll be a great mother. I know how you felt about this man and how you wish he was still here, especially now. But we need to face what life gives us, even if it's beyond what we expected. Don't you see this child is your second chance, Peggy? Your new hope? You and this baby, you need one another. Steve gave that to you, he's changing your life, even after he died. Now you don't waste that, Margaret. For the love of God, you get my grandchild out. I know you can do that. I did the same two times."

Peggy's face had become a mixture of sadness, happiness, proudness and everything else. Honestly, she had been a bundle of emotion for the past months. But the words from her mother completely got to her heart. Little did she know how much right her mother was towards that baby. "I love you, mum."

"I'll get the doctors back." She nodded and Grace placed a kiss on her daughter's head before leaving the room.

Later, when Sarah Grace Rogers-Carter was born and settled back in the hospital room with her mother, Peggy held the tiny girl in her arms with such delicacy, so fulfilled with love. Glancing at Sarah, she could not picture now a scenario where she gave up on that child. Honestly, Peggy never had, even in the middle of her terrified and painful labor hours. She always knew that child was a treasure, a real gift Steve left her. But now looking at her, holding her, feeling how real she was as her fist held tight onto Peggy's thumb, now she just couldn't help but feel hopeful. God, she thanked Steve a hundred times for changing her life that way. There was still a lingering feeling inside her, that longing of his presence.

She pictured his face and held tight onto the image, as she fought back the tears that wanted to roll down once again. Sarah was wide awake, eyes forever glancing Peggy with those traces of admiration and wonder. It pained that she was so much like Steve. But it also brought butterflies to her stomach.

Peggy never thought a baby could be so small, but remembering how skinny Steve was when they first met, she shouldn't be that surprised. Sarah was an exact copy of him back then. The rare, thin and blonde hair, the tiny figures. The attentive eyes to the world around. The eyes. Deep blue eyes. Doctors had said it could change colors with growth, but Peggy knew, just by looking into them, how much those eyes were like Steve's.

"I'll take care of you, my darling." There were a few tears in her cheeks that fell to the baby's hand—that had been gripping Peggy's finger ever since she was placed into her arms. "You're my biggest gift from daddy. I promise it'll always be you and I against the world. And that no one will harm you." She brushed her lips on Sarah's forehead, thinking how she could already love a living being so deeply. "Your daddy would be so proud of how brave you were today, Sarah. Fighting against mom's tiredness. You're just like him when we met, my darling. So tiny yet so strong. So incredibly beautiful…" Peggy smiled widely between het tears, lullabying the child with her words and soft hums, watching as the blue eyes fought to stay open. "Sleep, my love. Mum will tell you more about dad tomorrow." She promised.

Staying with her through the night in the hospital, Grace was touched by the scene as she stood in her observer silence, admiring with pride how her daughter would make a good mother. 

* * *

Sarah wasn't exactly an easy child. Like Peggy, she rarely settled down and, thankfully, had great lungs—as her mother had been fearing Sarah could have inherited Steve's asthma. But it was quite the opposite. Even small, she could make a real fuss. Besides the fact her main activities intercalated between sleeping and eating.

When Peggy got back to the States, Sarah was turning one. Her family had pursued her to stay longer and Peggy had arranged that in the SSR with Phillip's help, as Sarah was the family's joy. But after a while, it was getting hard to stay away from work. She missed doing something aside from helping her mother with recipes and housework. When Peggy heard Howard was getting himself into messy situations in New York, she saw her cue to come back.

It was beyond difficult managing to pretend being a telephonist while working for the SSR, helping Howard clean his mess, and raising Sarah alone—the last one always being her priority. But with time back there, Peggy met new people and made friends.

Angie was a girl that worked in the dinner she and Sarah went every morning for breakfast. Peggy had been living at Howard's house and that's seriously hard now that he was being charged by the government for several matters. She couldn't work for the government and then they find her living under his roof. Not having Jarvis take care of Sarah in the afternoons would be the only problem she thought she'd face. So Peggy nonchalantly mentioned to be looking for a place to live. It turned her household had just gotten a vacant space and Peggy confirmed it through an ad in the paper.

"I tell you, she's pretty strict, Peggy." Angie didn't want to sound rude, but she glanced down at Sarah. "Kiddo can be quite loud from what I've seen." Peggy frowned a bit offended. She was the only one allowed to complain of her child's wild manners. But she knew Angie was right at the end.

"She's quiet at night." Peggy defended her like a lioness, speaking stiff. Angie made an apology smile and held her hands up.

"I don't mean any harm, Peggy. I'm just saying, be ready for her questioning." She told with honesty and the other woman eased her face, nodding.

"You said she's strict," Angie nodded "do you think she'll ask about me raising a child alone?"

"Absolutely." Peggy sighed. She had a cover up story, obviously. She had been married, her husband went to war and never came back. It was only half a lie, as Steve did went to war to never go back, they just hadn't been married. But Peggy couldn't just say she had Captain America's child and give people motive to either pity or mock her—she wondered how many Captain America's babies could be out there. Knowing women's abilities, she doubted one or two didn't lie about it. "But I've seen the ring on your hand. I don't know the story. But if the guy is not around and you were married, I assure she'll understand."

"He died. During war." Peggy cleared then, not developing further.

"I'm sorry, English." The British waved off and Sarah woke up in her arm, with a full lung scream. Both women, and some of the diner customers frowned. "Just don't let her see little Sarah crying." Peggy nodded as she involved her child, humming comforting words to calm her down. Angie was turning to get back to duty when Peggy stopped her.

"Hey, Angie. Thank you." The girl smiled a full teeth smile.

"That's what friends are for, English. And Sarah I'll get you a warm milk if you promise to don't cry in your interview with my landlady." And as if she had understood every single word, Sarah quieted, glancing at Angie. "That's my girl." 

* * *

 They were living in Brooklyn by the time Sarah turned ten. She was still a small girl, skinny like her father had been. But she was smart, talented, dedicated and a complete sweetheart. Peggy worked for the SSR ever since they got back from England and, a few years after that, Peggy, Howard and Phillips founded S.H.I.E.L.D. Being a spy and a mother wasn't the easiest task, especially of a curious ten year-old. But Peggy had her arrangements and Jarvis had always been the best companion to a child when she needed to be off in a mission—after all, who else would love to teach about books, etiquette, cooking and even play with such perfection aside from the butler that time turned into a friend?

Of course sometimes Peggy questioned about her daughter's safety and her own. HYDRA was still out hunting down people and for a while they had their eyes on Peggy, for being a co-founder of S.H.I.E.L.D. Sarah didn't have a father and Peggy would never forgive herself if she was left alone in the world. Of course, there would always have Uncle Howard, Jarvis and her dear friend there for her, but it was different. So, sometimes, Peggy had some time away, or did more paperwork than practical missions. As long as she was being useful, it was fine for her.

Howard was the first to notice Peggy hadn't changed a bit in ten years. Between raising a little girl and being a spy, she should have gotten a few grey hairs here and there or any wrinkles, but there was absolutely nothing. Approaching the subject with her had been the most awkward thing in the world. To her, at least.

"Why on bloody earth do you want to know about my sexual life with Steve?" Peggy was outraged and an inch of punching him in the eye, like she had done a few years back.

"Peggy, I swear it's for science." That had been the last drop.

"You bloody bastard!" She chased after him in her office at S.H.I.E.L.D., glad that the blinds had been down, though she was most certainly people could hear them. "Howard Stark you pervert, I'll cut your balls off!"

"Peggy! Peggy! For heaven's sake!" When she pulled her gun to point at him, he remembered how Peggy once had fired a whole magazine of bullets on Steve. And that was Steve, her Steve. He was just Howard, which always meant beyond screwed.

"Explain why you need that information or I'll be shooting you instead."

"Have you not noticed your lack of change in the last ten years?" His voice was lower, more discrete. "You don't have a single wrinkle. Or grey hair, or any of the sorts." When she lowered her gun, Howard breathed in relief. Knowing she also had realized that. "I'm thinking the serum could have affected you as well. You know, when you two… Fondued."

"Why would you want to know the frequency, Howard?" She insisted, still annoyed. His theory made sense though. She had noticed that five years ago, when Angie pointed out to be getting a grey hair. Peggy was far older than her and she didn't have a single one. When pointed out to her friend, Angie said something about her genetics. But Peggy never put the thought to how the serum on Steve could affect her. None of them had. When they were creating super soldiers, none of them were really concerned about them being intimate or not. Peggy and Steve were even less worried about that when they made love, more than once.

"It could get us a parameter of how it affected you. We could research that." He cleared it out, still swallowing hard to the way she had her eyes narrowed at him. Then suddenly, she relaxed and seemed to think.

"You think it could have affected Sarah too?" The angry went to uncertainty to worry and Howard saw all those flashes in his friend's face.

"She has his DNA, it's more possible than affecting you." It was logical and to that Peggy had given a thought. But the fact she was always so skinny made her think maybe she could just have been lucky. "We could compare it. But you made the favor of throwing his blood from the Brooklyn Bridge." When she narrowed her eyes again, he went back on his words. "Sorry. Well, either way, you should bring Sarah so we could do some testings."

"She's ten, Howard." Peggy almost barked.

"I know. And my goddaughter. I'd never do anything that will harm her in any way, Peggy. It's safer for both of you that we research that. We don't know how it could interfere on your lives." Howard argued back in a way she could see his point. Peggy agreed with it, to be real.

"You get to collect our blood, but I'll be on head on that research, Stark. No funny business."

"I won't play with that again, Peggy. You know that."

"I'm counting on your word, Howard."

* * *

 "Mommy, look what I drew in class." Sarah came home running from Jarvis arms to Peggy's. The mother had been wrapped up in work all day and Jarvis, always so kind, took care of the young-female-Steve Rogers miniature. So coming home to the tiny figure running towards her, was always the greatest joy.

"What was it, my darling?" Peggy picked her up with a grim storming from both. They exchanged their mother-daughter greeting peck and Sarah snuggled into Peggy's always so comforting arms.

"You, me and daddy." Peggy's heart tightened in a sudden move, all caused by the last word and the draw. She identified Steve as Captain America easily, holding a shield and protecting his two girls next to him. She felt the want to cry but thanked Jarvis when he cleared his throat and brought her back. Peggy smiled kindly to him and he nodded back. They communicated easily like that. Howard always thought it to be so strange. But Jarvis and Peggy had bounded incredibly well when they were chasing Stark's stolen treasures. And he had been the best of her friends after that.

"I believe I'm not needed around anymore, Ms. Carter." He said, always in his very polite manner.

"Thank you again, Jarvis." He nodded, flashing a smile when Sarah waved goodbye furiously happy.

"'Till tomorrow uncle Jarvis." She had this mixture of British and American accent that kids always bullied her about, but she never said anything to her mother. As her father, she always knew how to fight her own battles and never run away. As her mother, she knew how to kick boys' things that made them cry. "Did you like the drawing, mum?"

"It's beautiful, my darling." As Sarah grew, Peggy noticed how she had gotten her skills from Steve, developing so beautiful drawing traces, lines, even shadows with the years. "Why the Cap outfit?"

"You told me he was Captain America, mommy." Sarah frowned like it was obvious. She had seen so many videos of it, she was so proud her daddy had been such a brave soldier and saved the world.

"I know. But you always draw him as Stebe, not Cap." She played, referring to how the girl used to say her father's name when she was younger. Sarah chuckled, for that and the poke in her waist.

"Daddy is both. I like him as both daddy Stebe and Cap." The girl explained while Peggy moved with her in her arms to the living room where they sat on the couch, Sarah still in her mother's lap. "Do you miss him, mum?"

"Every day, my darling. Every day." Peggy's smile was nostalgic. She adjusted Sarah's hair behind her ear, caressed her cheek and cupped her chin. "Then you come home from school and I see him in you. It's when I remember he's still with us" she pointed Sarah's heart and then her own "here."

"Sometimes I feel sad I didn't meet him. I know he saved the world. But I wish I could have met him too." It hadn't been the first time they had that talk neither that Sarah said that. But always it broke Peggy's heart to hear it.

"He'd have loved to meet you too, Sarah. He'd spoil you like I do and he'd always let you sleep in our bed when you were scared of the dark."

"Like you do." Sarah smiled and Peggy nodded.

"Exactly. Your daddy loved you, Sarah. He's up there looking up for us. Always will." Both mother and daughter had watery eyes and they found comfort in each other's embrace. "And mummy will be with you always too, do you understand?" When the girl nodded, Peggy kissed her forehead. "So don't be sad."

"Okay, mummy." She heard the sniff and held her tighter.

"I got ice cream. How about we eat it before dinner today?" Were enough words to make the kid's face lighten up a little.

"I love you, mummy."

"I love you too, Sarah Rogers." 

* * *

  **Peggy and Sarah's apartment, Brooklyn. Present time.**

There was a note in the fridge when Sarah came back home the next day. "I'm in SHIELD HQ. Show up whenever you can, we need to talk. There's food in the oven. Eat. Love, mum." The blonde lady reread it seven times before she could process anything. Her mom was at SHIELD, there was no way she didn't know by now about Steves reappearance after seventy years. The slight possibility of them not telling her mother seemed unlikely and outrageous. Fury always respected Peggy deeply and knowing their history together, she doubted he would keep it from her. But then again, he was the greatest spy there and his secrets had secrets.

Her phone vibrated, waking Sarah up from her own mind. It was a text from Natasha. 'You need to eat.' She read mentally before looking around to be sure she hadn't been spying on her, like the friend had done before. It seemed clear so Sarah judged Natasha was indeed worried.

Putting the phone aside with her mother's note, Sarah tried to push some food in. Whatever was going on, she'd need strength for that talk with Peggy.

Later that same day, she was walking into Fury's office with a worried Peggy by his side.

"Why didn't you tell me you knew?" The moment the door was closed behind Sarah, Peggy reached out for her daughter, involving her in an embrace. Peggy's arms were everything Sarah needed. That comfort, the sudden warmth of a mother's hug. She cracked. Peggy held her tighter. "My darling… Shh, it's okay. Mum is here." It came out in a whisper and Fury turned his face to his computer, giving them the privacy of the moment.

"Mum…" Sarah was rarely a weak figure. Although a kind soul like Steve, she got all the toughness and strength from Peggy. It was unlikely to see her crying—at least ever since she grew up and passed school years, that had been dreadful. Sarah reminded her matriarch too much, but then again it was hard after being raised by her through all those years.

"I'm here, my love." Peggy's words sounded like a promise and Sarah held onto that, onto her. With arms tangled around Peggy's waist, she allowed herself to sob for a moment. "He's here, my darling. I'm here. It'll be okay."

"I—Can I…?" Suddenly, Sarah pulled back to glance her mother and then Fury again. Her eyes were swollen, red around and its blue color so bright through all the tears. All of them knew what she wanted. When Nick Fury opened his mouth to start, Peggy barged in first.

"It's a bit complicated." She told Sarah. "He's awake, my darling." The confusion in Sarah's eyes were suddenly too much and the mother wondered how much the girl actually knew of it all. "When they found him, they couldn't notice any signals of vital activity. But when he started being defrosted, they noticed low cardiac activity and breathing. Now it's like he's completely recovered. We believe the serum that was injected during Project Rebirth was what kept him alive during all those years in the ice. This night, his brain activity, that was all so very low, went back to full force. He had several nightmares and Fury called me in this morning. He woke up around five in the morning… I didn't want to go see him before we spoke."

Sarah understood the whole scenario, even though it seemed chaotic. It was why she couldn't see him that she didn't understand. "And can't we go now?"

"He's been in a coma state for seventy years, Sarah. We—Fury believes it's important we take it slow on him."

"Meaning not telling him I am his daughter?" Sarah's words were sharp and cut Peggy straight in the heart.

"Not precisely." Fury interrupted and the blonde glanced him in disbelief. "I understand you want to see him—"

"No, you don't." Sarah replied in the same second, severe. "I've lived my whole life thinking my father had died fighting for his country and I was okay with that. But it's not like that. He's alive. I want to see him." She paused to look at her mother. "Mum. Tell me you don't agree with that."

"I want you to see him." She said. "And you will, Sarah. I believe we must brief him in first. He's recovering and it's a risky state. We don't want him to fall back into that dark place he probably was, not again. Do you understand?" There was silence. She understood, but she didn't want to say. There was a selfish part of her, a part that had lived too long without a father; that wanted to hold onto the possibility of him being there with all her strength. And Sarah needed to see it to believe.

"Doctors said his nightmares were pretty harsh and he called for Director Carter and Sargent Barnes the whole the time." Fury explained, walking around the table and opening the doors of his office for the ladies to pass. He lead the way to the elevator and cleared their authorization before pressing the floor Sarah knew to be the nursing one. "We believe Ms. Carter is the most recommended person to brief him in on everything that has happened. Includes his personal issues that involve you, Agent Rogers." As Peggy had always been Agent Carter for them and they did not repeat names, Sarah had taken her father's name on her identification—as he also had always been addressed as Captain instead of Agent.

"She was the last one he spoke to, it makes some sense." Sarah said, although cautious and still very unsure of it all. Peggy encouraged by holding her hand, a soft squeeze against her palm. They arrived the twenty-first floor in absolute silence and stood that way in the trajectory to room 12B. Peggy asked for a moment with Sarah and Fury nodded, stepping away.

Sarah looked down, expecting a lecture for being so stubborn—Peggy knew better, Sarah was clearly not completely convinced. Instead, the mother cupped her daughter's cheeks in the sweetest gesture, holding her gaze up so blue irises could meet her own brown. She was so much like Steve, Peggy thought, now that his memory, his face, was so recent and vivid in her mind.

"I won't ever keep you from being with your father. Doesn't matter what happens, how he reacts, or things turn out. There are endless possibilities I don't want to list for you. But you're smart, you're intelligent, like him. You know it's a chaotic scenario and we need to handle it carefully. Hell, Fury wanted to put up a scene for when he woke up, that we were still in the forties." The way Sarah frowned at it showed how completely idiotic that idea seemed. Starting off with a lie was the worst choice. "I stopped that, but I can't have the last word in SHIELD anymore. Howard, Phillips, they're all long gone and you know I lost part of my vote then. But I trust Fury and even if sometimes he's looking after himself, I believe this will be good for Steve. We'll break things slowly. Can you trust me, my darling?"

Reluctantly, the blonde girl nodded, letting a deep sigh escape before her arms involved her mother's waist and her face buried on her chest. Peggy caressed her hair tenderly and they just breathed for a moment. Sarah always was her safe place, she gave Peggy the extra strength needed. They were partners in crime, mother and daughter fighting the world. Fury cleared his throat behind them, bringing both back to reality.

"There's a room behind the glass panel, Agent Rogers. For now, you can watch from there, if you want." Fury explained and Sarah glanced him before nodding simply. Peggy and her parted, exchanging a comforting smile.

"And mum." Peggy paused and looked over her shoulder to Sarah. "You're still the most badass person in this facility." The mother grinned and thanked Sarah with a smile.

* * *

 Her hand was shaking, but she managed to twist the knob. The room was still chilly, as it had been during her last visit. Steve's face had gained more color and they added serum to help his recovery. His heartbeat was steady and breathing slow and peaceful. She could tell he was awake. Peggy had laid beside him before, in some endless times they shared a bed. Even if his eyes were shut, the woman knew his mind was in activity.

Not indenting to alarm him, Peggy stood close to the bed, but didn't set on the edge of the bed as she wanted to. She gave him time of his own. He's breath held on longer before his eyes opened and meet hers. Peggy felt her heart attempting to leave through her throat and her eyes quickly tearing. They stood like that, silently gazing into each other's eyes. None knew for how long, but neither of them seemed to be able to break the moment. For a while, they didn't need words. They never had. Not now, not back in the war. They had been masters of speaking with the eyes. But now, after so long, after everything that happened, there was so much to be said, to be asked. Still, they held onto old habits.

"Peggy." She smiled, grinned, sobbed. Hearing his voice break the silence… It felt like heaven, like a truly great dream she was afraid to wake up from.

"Steve…" Her hand went to her mouth, trying to prevent herself from sobbing louder. Her inner self told her to jump into his arms. But Peggy didn't want to scare him, she didn't mean to have him frightened. There was so many to be said, but Peggy didn't know what to pronounce first. She wanted to tell him about the world, about the war's end, about him saving everyone but himself, about their daughter, about Howard's kid, how it had been seventy years and everything that changed. But mostly, she wanted to say how much she had missed him, how badly she had always loved through all those years.

"I think I might have missed our date." His voice was groggy and his eyes lazy, but he smiled so, so beautifully that she grinned again, smiling far too wide. A hand held up for her. She enlaced his fingers trying not to cry even more, the contact feeling far too real for her emotions not to crack.

"Oh, my darling… I think I can forgive you this time."


	4. Memories We Never Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The so expected reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your lovely comments, you keep me moving!

**Memories We Never Forget, **Chapter Four****

You look so wonderful in your dress  
I love your hair like that  
The way it falls on the side of your neck  
Down your shoulders and back  
  
We are surrounded by all of these lies  
And people who talk too much  
You've got that kind of look in your eyes  
As if no one knows anything but us

 _\- Tenerife Sea_ , Ed Sheeran

 

**Camp Lehigh, 1943.**

The two figures sat in silence in front of each other. Steve wasn’t usually quiet. His eyes moved to her and back to the sketchpad on his lap. He always drew her when they were together, but he wasn’t ever so silent. At least not since he and Peggy started talking and, well, everything else that their constant flirting resulted. Nobody knew, though they were sure Phillips suspected. Since Steve rescued Bucky, disappearing for a few days and leaving the crap out of Peggy worried, they came to the conclusion it wasn’t wise keeping preventing themselves from living it, cherishing the moments they could share—that were rare as the war developed. In two days he was leaving with his Howling Commandos to take down HYDRA’s bases. Peggy didn’t feel she had any right to go against it or demand she went with him—although she wanted, she knew she’d be a lot more helpful around Phillips. Peggy knew he cared about her safety the same way she cared about his. They didn’t need to say it out loud to know.

“You’re too quiet, my darling.”Peggy mumbled and waited him to look up. She saw the glimpse of a sigh when she stood up, moving from the position he had been drawing her. She loved his art, but Peggy honestly couldn’t care less at the moment. Putting his sketch aside, she replaced the spot with her own figure, straddling him without concern. They had passed the point of no return on that bound, that intimacy created between them. “What’s wrong?”Tangling her fingers in his locks, Peggy leaned in, pressing the softness of her mouth against his cheek. “Talk to me.”Always so gentle, so careful, his fingers caressed her waist up to her back. There was a deep sigh this time and he buried his face on her chest. “Steve.”Her voice was demanding now, worried though.

“I’m preoccupied.”He mumbled. Peggy couldn’t see his face, but she felt the frowned brows, she heard them on his tone.

“With?”

“This whole thing. You, me, Bucky, everyone.”Closing his eyes, Steve tried not to think, clear his mind. But he never had mastered his _not caring_ skills, quite the opposite for he often over worried.

“How can an intelligent man be such a fool?”Trailing her pointer along his jawline, Peggy stared into his eyes. “I guarantee I can take care of myself.”Steve made a grumpy sound that made the Peggy raise a brow at him. “Do you doubt it?”He shook his head promptly. “Do you think your friend can’t take care of his own arse?”She sounded serious, severe. Steve shook his head again. “Then why are you worrying so bloody much?”

“You didn’t ask any question about my safety.”He avoided her question, as she noticed.

“Steven Grant Rogers.”

“You didn’t.”

“Because I trust your abilities and your training especially.”He rolled his eyes and smiled, she obviously trusted his training. “I have faith in you, Steve. I know you and your men will do great, the right thing. I cannot demand your stay, although I wish we could be like this all the time.”

“I’m the Captain, I can stay.”

Peggy grinned, allowing her lips to meet his for a moment. “No.”Her tongue rolled out, teasing between his lips, tangling inside his mouth. His groan was slow, contained, completely pleased by her amazing control of that muscle. “You have to go.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me?”His mouth became audacious, sucking on her bottom lip, diving deeper into her. His hands always grew unabashed, rolling up her neck pulling at some locks of perfectly adjusted hair. Peggy mumbled something about that and he smirked against her lips. “Are you?”

“ _No_.”She said harsh, biting his chin as a punishment for messing her perfect locks. “I was trying to make a point but I—”Her pause was long when his lips seemed to have busied with sucking a spot in her neck. “I—I think I forgot what I was saying.”

“Good.”His teeth nibbled shamelessly on her neck and Peggy sighed, louder than she had expected, his name between her lips. The room started feeling too hot, the air too rare and her thoughts dizzy, focusing on the fact that clothless they would be so much  more comforting.

“Steve…”Was all her mouth could pronounce, a tone all so very slow and husky, while his hands busied on undoing her blouse and his mouth made a trail down her chest, on the valley between her breasts and—

There was a knock on the door. Someone tried to twist the knob but thankfully it was locked.

“Steve, are you ready to discuss the strategies?”The familiar male voice made Peggy groan loudly in frustration and disbelief. “Rogers, who’s there with you?”

“Bucky…I need a moment.”Steve said in a groggy voice, trying to both not laugh and prevent Peggy for adjusting her clothes back to place. “Can you…Come back in like…An hour?”He saw Peggy mumble two and smiled. “Or two?”

“This serum really changed you. Don’t tell me it’s Agent Carter. You punk…”

“Jerk. Just go.”

They heard the laugh that gradually faded away. Peggy was very satisfied when they were left alone again. Bucky was a very good person, an amazing soldier, but he had a thing for interrupting them without knowing.

“Where were we?”She asked, finger enlacing his locks again.

“You were making a point.”

“Oh, yes, that.”And she dived into his mouth with the voracity she went in a battlefield.

When their naked bodies were resting against each other, exactly an hour and a half later, Peggy sighed deeply on his top, pressing a kiss to his large chest.

“Sargent Barnes will be here soon, I should probably go.”But she didn’t move and he didn’t unwrap his arms resting around her.

“No, I believe you still had something to say?”

“I might be suffering from amnesia.”Peggy raised a brow quickly. “I blame you.”

“I can’t say I’m sorry. My mother taught me not to lie. Sarah Rogers was very serious about lies.”He had the most ridiculous smile on his lips that just made Peggy want to kiss him endlessly. Instead, she poked him.

“I do remember what I had to say now.”

“Do tell.”

She became more serious, cupping his face in her hands and making him face her. “Go get those bastards, Rogers. Make me proud. I’ll be here doing everything I can to help from a distance. And waiting for that dance.”

“Are you going to write me?”

“Only if you do.”She smiled, his lips reached out for hers.

“Everyday.”They nodded and silence sat across the room, it wasn’t goodbye, it was see you soon. But it didn’t make it less painful to either of them.

“We’ll have it.”He promised, sealing it with a kiss. She frowned. “The dance.”Peggy’s face grew brighter, happier.

“When the war is over.”

* * *

 

 **S.H.I.E.L.D.** **’** **S Headquarters, NYC. Present time.**

“You look different.”Peggy had moved to the edge of the bed, siting by his foot. There was so much longing in their eyes. The few seconds they stood holding hands, the two shared a moment of silence as if taking all that in. Steve was still clueless to these new surroundings, to everything that had happened. It was her duty to brief him in, to catch him up. Peggy was one for hard tasks, but that was trickier than any other she had to face.

“A lot has changed, my darling.”When she said so, his eyes lurked through her face, her body, until it landed on her hands resting on her lap. He didn’t see a ring, breathing out in a way that seemed relief. “It doesn’t exactly concern me, Steve.”She noticed his gaze and it made almost impossible not to smile. “Well, in parts.”

“What exactly happened?”His tone changed a bit, with preoccupation. Reaching out for him, Peggy placed a hand on his leg and moved her thumb the slightest bit.

“Did you speak to anyone ever since you woke up?”

“Just a man I believe is called Director Fury.”Peggy nodded. “He told me I was found frozen.”

“Yes…Erskine’s serum gave you a vital strength that’s beyond what we can explain. When you fell in the ice, your body reacted against the odds that were fighting to kill you. Obviously a normal human would have died in the first hours. We’re quite surprised, and I personally relieved, that you’ve managed _so_ long there.”His expression twisted in confusion.

“ _How_ long are you talking about?”Steve watched her swallow harshly. Peggy knew that answer would bring down so many new questions that lead to her and necessarily to Sarah. Bracing herself, the woman took a deep breath before opening her mouth.

“Seventy years.”

The room became silent, a long and painful silence. His mouth opened more than once, but it always closed speechless. She gave him time to take in, digest it all. Peggy herself had had it to understand he actually was alive _and waiting_ for so very long. But those moments had been a struggle, painful. Steve’s expression was too neutral, too calm, and hard to read. Peggy wanted to dive into his thoughts, figure out what was on his mind. But she understood he needed a moment. She didn’t know how long he was absorbed in complete quietness, but she waited him to break it.

“How—? It’s impossible.”When he asked, Peggy wasn’t so sure he meant hers or his case. “I mean, you…You should be ninety then.”

“I am.”She was very calm and his eyes widening made her smile softly. She stood up just to seat closer to him. Her hand involved his and the contact seemed to calm her leaping heart. And his. “I’m taking you remember when we…Well, we had sexual involvement and—”

“Yes. I remember we made love, Peggy. More than once.”He corrected her polite words, slightly offended she thought he wouldn’t remember and that she was circling the subject so much. If he had been frozen for seventy years, he was tired of waiting already.

“Good.”Noticing his hurt tone, she bit her lower lip. She continued though, instead of excusing. “A few years after you disappeared, I started noticing my lack of aging. Howard did too. We ran tests and it was proved the serum changed my DNA. I don’t have the super strength, but I age _very_ slow. We believe it was due to our—Well, you know.”It was hard avoiding the blush. Peggy knew Fury and Sarah were watching and she didn’t want to discuss that with an audience. “That and…”

Steve thought her pause was intentional, but he noticed it lasted too long and how her face went slightly white, suddenly he was very worried.  “And…?”

“As I said, a lot happened after you disappeared. Howard was searching for you during a very long time. They couldn’t track your plane anywhere. There weren’t any traces and Schmitt’s weapon was found miles away and still there was no trace of you. I guess after a while everyone just figured we had to…Well, let you go.”She reminded her goodbye to him, in the bridge, spilling his blood away. “But hm, a few months after the crash, I…I found I was pregnant.”It was his time to turn completely white, the machines announcing how his heartbeat speed up in a matter of seconds. His silence was understandable but also crushing. She didn’t want to overwhelm him, though after having started was wise to continue. “Carrying the baby also affected my DNA for she carries your DNA as well. So Howard believed both things could have affected it, but we were never sure which one exactly.”

More silence.

Longer silence. Painful to all of them, but especially to the one watching it all from the outside.

“I’m sorry I broke those two big news in the same day. It’s too much to digest, I shouldn’t have—”

“You said she carries my DNA.”Peggy nodded. “So she’s still alive.”

“Sarah is the seventy year-old in a better state then you’ll ever meet.”He frowned and Peggy shook her head for her bad sense of humor. “She looks about twenty-ish. It’s actually quite tricky to mother a woman who’s starting to look the same age as I am…But she also ages very slowly, slower than me. It took her a good time to reach such a state.”His quietness caught her and Peggy stopped rambling. “You just woke up, I shouldn’t be overwhelming you already.”

“No.”He shook his head purposefully, exactly like Sarah did. “I’m alright. I—I just don’t know what to say.”It wasn’t hard telling he was still very shocked and Peggy started questioning if she shouldn’t have waited a little longer to break things to him. Steve thought for a few moments and spoke again. “How does she look like?”

“Like you.”Peggy’s smile turned bright, cheerful, of admiration. “Blonde hair, blue eyes, kind smile, an inexplicable inner strength, the biggest heart, adaptable. Exactly like you.”His hand squeezed hers and they did that thing characteristic of the two, speaking with their eyes, with that exchange of smiles.

“Where’s she?”

“Just a room away, aching to meet you. But we didn’t mean to go too hard on you.”She pondered her own words. “Which I ended up doing.”

“I want to meet her, Peggy. Please.”He watched her lick her lips as if considering it and then breathing in agreement.

“Alright.”He thought it was strange she didn’t move, just looked over her shoulder to a dark glass panel that stood in the opposite wall of his bed. But when he heard the door opening, Steve figured it wasn’t so strange that the room had an observation spot.

Honestly, Steve felt the whole world was crashing and colliding against him. He woke up from what it seemed a bad night of sleep to find himself seven decades after the crash, frozen through all this time, in a world completely changed where the only familiar face was Peggy’s—although he was beyond happy to see her and know at least someone he knew and trusted deeply was there. There were so much else. The crash, being frozen seventy years, nothing compared to finding out he was a father.

During the war, Steve knew himself and Peggy to be adepts to the use of prophylactics. Although sometimes it was harder to get it, they did make a good usage of them. More than once they only had one and never bothered _not using_ in the rounds that eventually followed the first. But never, in a hundred years, he’d imagine she’d get pregnant and raise a child alone. He felt terrible for it all, truly. Not making _an honest woman_ , as people would say back then, out of her and just jump in to having the fun and pleasures of the flesh. For seventy years she had taken care and raised their child while he just slept.

Steve didn’t even think of externalizing that, knowing Peggy would tell him not to blame himself. But he did, especially after his daughter entered the room and he saw almost an exact copy of his mother—the woman Steve guessed she had been named after.

Rapturous yet static at the door, Sarah felt like staring into a mirror, as if she was glancing an old memory her mind cherished. For days, weeks, years, she had pictured that moment, had wished that to happen. Hoped and dreamed deeply it could maybe, one day, in that endless eternity she was set to live as a super-soldier’s daughter, become a reality. For even longer hours, she told herself to be a fool for believing and encouraging such possibility. And yet, contradicting every rational thought, there she was, standing in front of her father.

Peggy waited Sarah to step forward, her eyes always encouraging while glancing the girl—even though she never took her eyes off her father. As the blonde approached the other side of the bed, Peggy smiled, “Steve, that’s Sarah Rogers-Carter. Darling, this is Steve.”

“H—Hi.”She said low, shyly, reminding Peggy of a five-year-old-Sarah that had barely spoke to other kids.

Steve’s eyes were tearing up to the edge and when he blinked a tear rolled down his cheek, followed by a grin. “Oh God.”He cracked, chuckling. “I’m really a father.”Sarah accompanied his beam, accomplishing Peggy the conclusion they truly shared the same smile. There was no denying he was her father, neither of the three doubted it.

“You are.”It was Sarah who said, nodding her head as a smile settled in her lips.

“God, you’re so beautiful.”Steve used his free hand to clean off the tears as the other one never even attempted to let Peggy’s hand go. “You look so much like my mother.”The memory, that Peggy couldn’t ever have known, as the in-law had died before Peggy could ever meet her, caught the two by surprise. The good kind, as it read in their smiles.

“Really?”Sarah stepped forward, meaning to seat down at the edge of the bed, but she stopped herself then finally glancing Peggy. One thing was her mother doing it—a woman Steve not only knew but loved deeply, another was a stranger he just met and found out to be his daughter. Sarah didn’t want to scare or overtire him.

Steve was the one to respond to her self-repression. “Sit. It’s all right. Please, do sit.”He insisted until Sarah moved to the spot she meat to go. His hand reached out and held hers and it was the girl’s time to tear. Steve was real, her father, her dad, he was really there. She had waited so long for that, it felt hard believing. “But it’s true, you really look like her.”

“I never could find any pictures of your mother.”Peggy spoke up for the first time, breaking both eyes to her. “In your things.”

“They were always with me.”Steve cleared. He had his parents and Bucky’s in his pockets, and Peggy’s in his compass as it was the object he glanced more frequently. So all those had gone down with him in the ice. Peggy nodded at it, made sense now that she couldn’t ever get a hold of it.

For a few moments, the silence set up place again, until Sarah broke it. “And how are you feeling?”

“Good, to be honest.” He sighed. “A little dizzy.”

“Possibly because of the meds and painkillers they’re putting in your system.” Peggy explained, her hand caressing his.

“I thought my system killed them quickly.” _Like it does with the alcohol_ , he completed mentally. Steve wasn’t exactly thinking about that although the odds of the situation made the thought lurk his mind. It wasn’t like when Bucky died, now the situation was much happier. Still, he needed time to figure out how exactly he felt about it all. As much happier as he was, to find out he and Peggy had made such a beautiful being, the guilt ran through his veins ripping it all out with the same strength and killing pain the serum had done with his tiny figure.

“It does, but they increased the doses in case you were in pain with the defrosting process.” Steve nodded at Peggy. His eyes seemed to be magnets on Sarah for he was so impressed by her undeniably carrying his genes.

“So you’re seventy.” They both chuckled low as Sarah shook her head.

“Sixty-six.” She corrected lightly, glancing her mother briefly. “She likes giving rounded numbers.” Steve also looked over Peggy as she shrugged just enough to make Sarah roll eyes.

“And where do you two live? You still live together?” Steve had been brief in by Fury that they were in New York city but he wasn’t sure if Peggy took residence there or in England. He guessed there wasn’t much more to be done in the States after the war was over and he was gone, but then again there was no way of knowing that aside from asking.

“Brooklyn.” Sarah said ahead, adjusting herself on the bed. Steve seemed surprise and his inquiring look went to Peggy that smiled.

“Well, I needed somewhere to remind me of you, my darling.” As she spoke so tenderly and their eyes seemed to connect so deeply, Sarah observed them repeat the same gesture she had watched from behind the glass, like they were connecting, without words. It was undeniable how these two souls still felt deeply for each other. She could understand Steve easily because he had just woken up from what seemed a long dream. But her mother, she had lived and loved other people along the way. But that longing feeling stood with her for so many years and that love had been so well kept and cherished. Sarah was beyond impressed to see them back where they had left off.

With his silence and him squeezing her hand, Peggy continued. “Sarah and I live there ever since we came back from England. I had her there, next to my family and we lived another year in London before coming back. I actually lived in Howard’s house for a couple of months, before he started getting in trouble with the government… Which happened to be the people I worked for. I couldn’t afford being found in his household so I moved to a shared house in Brooklyn, ladies only apartment.”

“Where aunt Angie lived?” Sarah inquired, also curious about the tale of a period she was too young to remember. Peggy nodded.

“Angie was a friend of mine back then.” She explained to Steve that seemed lost after that. “She became a famous actress afterwards. Beautiful Broadway career…”

“What about Howard? Is he still alive? Director Fury said Stark found me…” Steve frowned a bit in confusion, now that he did the math, it seemed impossible.

“I fear not…” She sighed, shaking her head a little. “He’d be… If he wasn’t getting himself in so much trouble. Tony Stark, his son, was the one who found you in the ice. SHIELD was actually tipped by something in the ice two days ago after a mission Sarah was in and—” Steve’s face was twisted enough for her to pause and frown. Then Peggy remembered. “Oh, SHIELD. This is where you’re at… It’s a secret intelligence organization me, Howard and Phillips founded back then. Nowadays I’m not in the field anymore but I put a head guy I trust in my place. Director Fury is the chief of SHIELD and he replaced my spot.”

“I’m an agent here as well.” Sarah cleared then. “When mum left I already was. People here know I’m a super soldier and well, it’s much needed to be honest. An HYDRA we captured tipped us on your location. We didn’t know for sure what was waiting for us until Tony took you off the ice. It still doesn’t make much sense they’d know and not take advantage of it.”

“HYDRA is still up and running?” Steve seemed suddenly shaken and Peggy noticed as the machines announced his heartbeat increasing. He was looking at her, concerned. “I though we took them down when…”

“I thought so too… But there are more of them than we imagined. Some came back to hunt me down, but we put them all away. Even if there’s still plenty out there.”

“Mum is compelled to hunt every and each one of them down.”

Steve was silent for a while. Peggy knew what was in his mind, she imagined it. Sarah felt completely lost, on the other hand. She didn’t envy her mother and father’s connection, quite the opposite. In her view, it was something to admire. But Peggy knew Steve like the back of her hand. Sarah knew how her mother could figure him out with brief words and small glances, it wasn’t hard telling. What was painful was she never got to have that kind of connection with the man. Sarah was just meeting him and she had been alive for _sixty six years_. She felt childish wanting to have a bigger instant connection with him, but it didn’t make it less crushing that actually didn’t happen.

“You couldn’t know, Steve.” Peggy was the one to break the silence. “Don’t do this to yourself, Steven Rogers. It’s not you fault. You did what had to be done.”

“I was frozen down for seventy years while you raised our daughter by yourself. If the reason it all happened had at least ended, but no, they’re still there. And hunting you, Peggy.” Suddenly his stubborn look replaced that peaceful features he had before and Peggy was mad at him, truly. Sarah sat uncomfortably, watching it all.

“I’m not going to fight you, Steve. Not when you just woke up and I just got you back.” Her voice cracked slightly. “Bloody Hell, Steve. _I_ was the one left alone and not even for a second I complained. I accepted you decision because I respect you and your better judgment.”

“It seems you shouldn’t have.”

“Stop it.” She shook her head and her hand let his go for the first time. It was his turn to panic when she stood up. “You never made a victim of yourself and you’re not going to start now.” She walked a few steps away, but Peggy was never one to run from things, so she turned on her heels, breathing deeply. “Steve… You did what was your duty.” She marched back to him. “We all did out jobs the best we could. Don’t go down that habit hole of guilt, we already lost too many years without you.”

“I’m sorry.” Steve looked away, sighing. When she sat back, her hands reached out for his. Sarah that stood in absolute silence all that whole time finally spoke up.

“I think you should rest.” She directed her word to Steve, very seriously. The concerned was there as well. “You’re a super soldier but you’re still human… It’s a lot to digest.” Peggy nodded, but her voice didn’t come out. Her fingers, tangled in his, only caressed his hand softly. She knew he had to rest but she didn’t want to leave his side.

The door unlocking got all of their attention and Nick Fury entered the room with Natasha Romanoff by his side.

“Agent Rogers is right.” Fury said in a very polite and serious tone. “Agent Romanoff is taking you to the conference room, Agent Rogers. You’re needed there.” Sarah nodded and glanced her father one more time.

“I’ll be back.” She promised with a smile and stood up. The blonde and the red haired agents vanished together.

“Captain Rogers should rest.”

“I’m aware. I’ll stay until he’s asleep.” Fury didn’t argue, simply nodding and disappearing after.

“I’m sorry.” Steve repeated when they were left alone.

“I just don’t want to see you doing this to yourself. It’s _not_ your fault.”

“I know. But I look her… Sarah is so beautiful, she looks so brave. I can’t accept that you had to raise her alone.” Steve took advantage on the fact her hand held his and pulled Peggy closer. She stood, seating near his ribs, by the edge of the bed.

“You believe I wasn’t capable?” Steve opened his mouth, surprised by her response but unsure how to answer that.

“I—No, I mean… That’s not what I meant, Peggy.” Her grin broke him and when she leaned down his heart took the highest leap.

“I know.” She placed a kiss on his cheek.

Before Peggy could pull back, he held her. They were an inch away when their eyes met. “You should rest, Steve.” Her voice was slow, cracked as he had taken her by surprise.

“Wait.” He brought her down and sealed their lips, exactly like she had done with him in the last time they kissed. It felt like a dream to both. Peggy felt her world narrow down to that room and the contact she craved for _so many years_ made her eyes tear up considerably. It was short, like their last time. But this time they knew it wasn’t their last kiss. At least that’s what the promise longing there said.

She leaned against his side, resting down in the tiny hospital bed with him. When he dozed of this time, she was there holding him.

* * *

 

**HYDRA Base, Sokovia**

“They’ve found him, sir.”

“Good, very good.” The man typed something on the computer while he nodded.

“Is it time to release them?”

“Not yet. Patient… Patient. We still need him to connect to his two beloved family members before we tear him down into pieces. Let him gain space among Americans again, gain SHIELD’s trust. Then, we go on with the plan. Now we just sit, watch and enjoy.” The screen he glanced at showed a live footage of two figures lying awkwardly in a small bed. The American dream and the British soldier.


	5. Never Let Me Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve starts adapting to the 21st century; Peggy and Steve start bonding again.

**Never Let Me Go - Chapter Five**

**SHIELD** **’** **s headquarter, present time.**

“I’m sorry I asked you to come out here, I know it’s important for you…” Natasha said to Sarah as the two walked side by side through the corridors of SHIELD’s headquarters. Sarah shook her head quietly and glanced at her briefly.

“It’s fine… I don’t want to overwhelm him.” She lied, poorly. Sarah didn’t want to leave, if she could, the girl would stay there until he was recovered and ready to leave. Of course she’d tell Peggy to invite him to stay with them, if she didn’t do it herself, of course. But Sarah felt it was already too much for him, so maybe her father needed some breathing room at the moment. Though she suspected her mother wasn’t planning to leave his side for a while. She didn’t blame her. If Sarah was struggling, imagine how Peggy felt.

“Liar.” The two shared a smile and Sarah elbowed her on the ribs.

“Shut up.” Shaking her head, the blonde looked straight and they entered the elevator. “But what’s up?”

“I have a tough request, actually.”

“I’m sure I can handle it.” Sarah raised a brow, intrigued.

“We need you in the field again. Well, _I_ do.” She sighed. Natasha knew it wasn’t the best moment, Sarah had just gotten her father back and she was about to ask her to travel away from him. “I can ask someone else if you don’t feel like it, of course.”

Natasha never circled subjects, Sarah knew her quite enough long to know she always went straight to saying what she needed and what was in her mind. She felt Romanoff could be somehow sparing her, or trying to hide something important. “Shoot, Nat.” She used the nickname, that only Sarah and Clint were allowed to use, because of Budapest and how close the three grew then—especially Clint and Natasha—but she went softer on her to let her know it was okay to speak.

“There’s this subject. He’s making some fuss in France. I think they’re trying to get our attention and they most certainly did. Interpol has been in contact with us for the past week. Fury is concerned so he’s sending me there tonight.” Sarah nodded, she got the whole idea, but she wish Natasha would come around and tell it all.

“And what concerns _you_?”

“I know the movement. I know the technic… They showed me some tapes and I think it’s someone from my past.” Natasha seemed annoyed, more than worried. “If it’s who I’m thinking… It’s quite dangerous— Fucking dangerous.” She corrected.

“Who you have in mind?”

“The guy is a ghost story, horrific tale from back in the day.” The exchanged a look, Sarah knew she was talking about the Red Room. “He’s said to be responsible for several murders in the past decades. He was injected with the same serum I was.”

“So he’s a super soldier.” Natasha nodded.

“And dangerous. That’s why I’m asking if you’re willing to go and I—”

“I will.” She said firmly. “How long?”

“A week.” Sarah swallowed down, thought for a moment and then finally agreed.

“It might be good for my mother and Steve to get some time together.” She seemed to ponder the idea, it was Natasha who rolled her eyes and she knew what was in her mind. “No, I’m sure he wants to get to know me. I do want to get to know him and connect. But I think I need some breathing too… All of this is happening too fast. You know work always relaxes me and gets my head off.”

“Tell me about it. After Budapest I never forgot…” They shared a grin and a glance.

“Shut up.”

“Come on, I’ll brief you on the whole thing.”

* * *

 

"Never let me go  
  
And the arms of the ocean are carrying me  
And all this devotion was rushing out of me  
And the crushes are heaven for a sinner like me  
But the arms of the ocean delivered me

And it’s over  
And I’m goin’ under  
But I’m not givin’ up  
I’m just givin’ in  
As if no one knows anything but us" 

\-- _Never Let Me Go_ , Florence + The Machine

 

It was dark and cold, too cold. After the loud crashing noise, everything just went blank and then dark. There hadn’t been any explosion, just a collision. The man, seating unconsciously by the pilot’s seat had blood across his forehead, but no wounds. It was his blood, but the cause had properly healed in his super-metabolism. When his eyes finally opened again, very dizzily and briefly, he saw the image in his compass, the woman he loved.

“Peggy…” Steve was slightly out of his mind, thanks to the hard collision. But he remembered talking to her. The noise of a lost call connection could be heard in the background, but there was not response when he called for her. “Peggy…”

Trying again, he moved from with difficulty off the chair. It was getting colder and he could swear there was a cracking sound outside, of ice, or maybe water. He couldn’t manage too many things at the same time. So he reached for the compass first, bringing her picture to his chest, close to his heart.

He was on the floor, curved in what seemed like a fetal position, _her_ picture pressed against his body as to feel the strength she was always able to bring him. Steve glanced the picture again as some tears rolled down his cheeks. He swallowed harshly. It was too late; he’d miss their date. He had a feeling he’d miss everything. Cursing himself for not enjoying her more, for not having thought this through, for everything that he let come between the two, Steve decided he needed to be strong, for her. He felt the floor get watery. He knew he _needed_ to move. Holding the compass tight, he pushed his body on the floor, unsure if it had made any difference.

Too tired, Steve felt defeated, tired, everything in math. “I’m sorry, Peg.” He mumbled to himself while staring at her picture, before shutting his eyes tight. “I’ll be late, but _I will_ be there.” He groaned as the cold seemed to strike stronger. He shivered, his body wanted to scream. But he could only whisper, “Peggy…” as he decided to shut his eyes for _just a moment_ before getting out of there—

“Peggy!” Steve sat up in a single movement, breathing steady as he looked around the dark room, searching around for the figure in his dreams.

Peggy had lied before. When Steve slept, she didn’t leave. No one tried to take her out from there. When a doctor came in, she just moved from the bed to the chair nearby and during the hours that followed her watch, the woman had only been able to close her eyes for brief moments. Every time Steve moved, she’d wake up, check his vital signals, caress his cheek and peck his forehead before moving back to the chair. It was after the third brutal movement, she decided to stay awake and busy with reading a book Sarah had eventually brought her or scroll through her the cellphone. He was clearly having a bad dream there, by the way he kept mumbling inexplicable words and changing positions. She didn’t want to wake him up though, but it was worrying her that he could be struggling.

When he woke by himself, she was almost dozing off as the clock had turned midnight already. Peggy stood up in a hurry and held his hand tight. “I’m here, my darling. I’m here.” She caressed his palm attempting to calm him down. “It’s all okay. I’m here.” As he suddenly leaned his head against her shoulder, Peggy involved his figure in her embrace. It felt strange to hold him again. She had almost forgot how broad his shoulders were, how she could barely manage to close the hug and link her hands as she enveloped him. But when he did so, looked for shelter in her arms _that way,_ she knew it was one of those deadly dreams.

He had done it a couple of times before, especially after Bucky died in the mission; she’d hold him all night as he cried and slept in her arms. There weren’t ever any doubts on how Peggy was Steve’s safe place.

“Shhh…” Gentle, her fingers involved his neck and she caressed the hairs on his nape. “Tell me what happened.” He shivered a little with the contact, feeling unease as he had almost forgot how comforting her shelter was.

“The crash… I—”

“It’s the past, it’s over, Steve. You’re here now. In New York, at SHIELD’s headquarters, with me.” Kissing his head, she let him bury his face on her chest as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

“I remember it now, Peggy.” He couldn’t manage before to put the details together of what happened after the crash, after he was talking to Peggy on the phone. But now it was starting to come back to him. “I wanted to leave, but it was cold. You… Your picture gave me strength.” She smiled at his words, lips pressed against his head.

“We got you, Steve. We found you, darling. Now I’m never letting you go.” He wrapped his arms tighter around her, almost breathtakingly, pressing her waist against his flexed and tense arm muscles. She returned doing the same, embracing his shoulders steadily, her red nails massaging his scalp tenderly.

“I missed you, Peggy.” He knew he had been asleep during all those years and nothing compared to the ways she must have missed him, as for him it seemed to only have passed a few days. But he did, deep down, miss her badly.

“I know. I missed you _so much_ , Steve.” Her eyes were tearing again and Peggy sniffed trying to contain it.

“I won’t leave your side again.” Steve promised making her chuckle. Peggy nodded with a deep sigh of relief and comfort.

“I’d hope so, my darling. Now go back to sleep, it’s nearly one in the morning.” When he pulled back and glanced puzzled at her, Peggy cupped his cheek with a grin. “Yes, you’ve slept through the day. This century has way more advanced medical technology and they’re putting really strong medicine in your system. So you still fully recover even with the serum attempting to erase it all from your system, it works, even being a slower process. The side effect is the sleepiness. We thought you’d feel sick too, but I guess neither the 21st century medicine can understand the serum.”

He nodded, it made a lot of sense. Though he’d think people would have tried to investigate and study the serum left in Peggy and Sarah, he doubted Margaret Carter would ever allow that with herself or her daughter. Well, their daughter. Which reminded him of the blonde woman. He glanced around and frowned. “Where’s Sarah?”

“She stopped by and left you a box of things she thinks you might like to see. She’ll have to go off on a mission in two days so I sent her off home to rest.” Peggy explained as Steve didn’t seem any less confused.

“She’s off to the battlefield?”

“Well, not _battle_ field exactly as we’re not at war.” Peggy thought it for a second, as it seemed in SHIELD they weren’t in a war but trouble always came around. “But there’s been trouble in Europe, Interpol has been contacting us… We think it’s HYDRA. She and Agent Romanoff are going to solve it.”

“The red-head?” Peggy nodded. “Is she Russian?”

“The world has changed drastically after the war.”

“So it seems. But then again, we were the ones experimenting with Germans and being trained by the British during the war.” They both chuckled together. Peggy could have leaned down and kissed him after nudging his ribs, but she rolled eyes instead.

“Agent Romanoff has a very _peculiar_ past… But one of our best agents, Barton, he trusts her and she’s on our side. _I_ trust her. I have some _restrictions_ about her methods, but she’s a brave woman, she’s tough. And she saved Sarah’s life once… In the same mission Sarah and Agent Barton were supposed to kill Romanoff.”

“It seems I should trust her too then, if you do.” His comment made a smile grow in Peggy’s lips, as she nodded.

“Sarah will be back soon. I believe she’ll stay there a week. But she’s coming by to visit tomorrow.” Steve smiled in agreement and satisfaction.

“What about you? You don’t have anywhere to be?”

“ _Already_ trying to get rid of me, Rogers?” He opened his mouth to say it wasn’t what he meant but her look got him babbling nonsense for a second.

“No! That’s not what… I—” She let a wicked grin escape and Steve shook his head. “ _Mean_.”

“You’re too easy, darling.” Peggy laughed and Steve couldn’t help but smile at the sound, it was one of the things he liked the most. “But no, I’m a ninety-year-old woman, I deserve my retirement.” Steve raised a brow.

“You don’t look ninety, ma’am.” She shrugged, smiling. It was a good part of it—well, though not all of the time. But now that she looked at him, that he was actually there, young, stunning, exactly where they were left off, it was a good thing she didn’t look wrinkled and flaccid.

“I take some vitamins.” He frowned and Peggy had to grin, although vitamins had been created in the beginning of the last century, the great use of them only came in the last decades. “I’ll explain later.”

“I’ve slept _enough_.” He groaned annoyed like a winy child, knowing she was about to attempt to make him sleep.

“ _Well_ , you should at least try getting your sleeping schedule on track, soldier. _I_ haven’t.” When she raised a brow, amused, Steve made a snore ‘ _Oh’_ and nodded.

“You can sleep.” He smiled so innocently and beautiful, that Peggy saw his skinny self there, very clearly. He held his arms out for her and pulled, guiding Peggy to adjust herself against his chest.

“I shouldn’t be abusing the patient’s bed.” She complained and Steve just shushed her quietly.

“SHIELD wants me comfortable right?” Peggy nodded at him. “You in my arms makes me comfortable.”

“Liar… You’ll only get sore arms.” She grinned though, letting her head rest on his chest and sighing deep, taking his scent in. Instantly, her eyes closed and like she hadn’t felt in a while, Peggy actually thought she’d be able to have a quiet night of sleep next to him. _There_ , in this arms, she felt that longing of _home_ finally cease.

“I don’t mind.” He promised. “Now come on, it was a rough day. Get some sleep, Agent Carter.” When he played with her locks, Steve realized her hair was straighter, longer. He had noticed before that she dressed up differently and her hair was indeed done in an unequal way, but now that he had his hands on it, he realized how it was actually a lot longer and straighter, _modern_ he guessed.

“Director.” She corrected him, almost instantly.

“Huh?”

“It’s Director Carter now, Captain.” She smiled. Steve nodded with a brief chuckle.

“Well then, get some rest, _Director Carter_.” He shook his head a little. She’d _always_ be Agent Carter to him. He was proud she had grew so much in her career, but she’d always be _his Agent Carter_ , the same way he knew he’d always be her skinny soldier. She was the woman who trained him and had inspired him so deeply during the war years, the woman he grew to love and had wished to have a future with. Not that a name would ever change any of that, Steve was just… _Old-school_.

* * *

 

A day after Sarah went off to France with Natasha, Clint and her cousin--who was also a SHIELD agent, Sharon--Steve got released from the hospital. He had no place to go and although he didn’t ask, nor he expected her to, Peggy offered him to stay at her household. It was in Brooklyn, near SHIELD’s headquarter location, around the neighborhood Steve remembered growing up. He didn’t make comments on that, but he was very fond to know she had been living in a place that reminded her of him, as she had mindlessly commented during their ride there.

Everything was different, starting with the cars. Their design was bolder, modern and everything you needed to know about its functioning seemed to be in its electronic panel. The music could be easily switched in a small device, as Peggy had taught him briefly before starting the car. She offered to play some jazz or things that made him feel more _home_ , but Steve instead asked her to tune on something she liked listening.

“Well, I’m pretty sure jazz is still the answer, my darling. They say after you turn thirty you stop listening to new music…” She had told him and they both shared a smile. Peggy selected her most played songs, which surprisingly included some _Ed Sheeran_ , _Florence and The Machine_ , _Sam Smith_ among a few other moderns artists mixed with old jazz singers. Steve was surprised by the difference but he found some songs rather pleasingly. And noted it down.

In the box Sarah had left him, there was a notepad, blank except for the first page--which had a note from Sarah. It said: “ _Living seventy years got me to catch up on a whole lot of things, I suppose sleeping for that very same time must have made you miss quite a few. I used to write down everything new I learned in the beginning, as mother didn’t know how the serum would work on me while I was growing up. I thought you could make the same use of this Moleskine and note new things you learn or want to search for. Love, S. R. C._ ” When he first read it, Steve noticed how her handwriting was neat, with small curves and rounded letters, she dedicated well to that. It made him wonder if she used to draw like him.

Steve was indeed making a good use of the pen and paper. His list of future researches was starting to grow slowly, between conversations with Peggy in the past two days, he had written _I love Lucy, Moon Landing, Berlin Wall_ and in the car, after she explained about the music device carrying over a hundred songs, he had added _Steve Jobs_ to the list—apparently the man was a tech genius (he was still disappointed there weren’t flying cars invented by any of those scientists, especially Stark).

Peggy had explained to him that as it turned out, the flying cars technology was still much more advanced that they had ever expected and Howard just gave up his attempts on that field. But apparently his son knew how to build robots that fly and SHIELD also had some pretty neat flying equipment, but none were cars. Steve supposed he just held onto the car technology too hard because he actually saw Howard’s try and almost success even before he joined the army.

The apartment Peggy and Sarah lived was very welcoming. Steve was still taken aback on how different Brooklyn looked like and the fact the building he grew up in had actually been taken down to give place to a modern and bigger construction. But once inside her place, he took a few moments to absorb the house. The living room had a huge television, two couches that seemed beyond comfortable, a huge bookshelf, a center table with more books and several plastic boxes that looked like thin books. Taking a few steps in, he could glance a modest kitchen, almost country looking; wood furniture, some plants around and a large wooden counter dividing it from the living room. The white fridge had notes on it and a few pictures. He identified them easily, one of Sarah, the red-haired agent and a guy; the other of Peggy and Sarah in a park; a third of Peggy with a huge swollen stomach; and right above a picture of a little blonde girl smiling with two missing teeth.

She saw his glance freeze and her eyes went straight to the fridge.

“It was in England, my mother took it. I was eight months already.” She broke the silence, knowing what he was looking at. “And the other is of Sarah when she was losing her first teeth… She was seven and a half.” Peggy walked around the corner and picked them up in the fridge’s door. “Sarah adores them, that’s why I put them here.” She handed him the pictures. Steve looked at them and then up to Peggy.

“I—Thank you.” He smiled making Peggy nod. She ran her fingers through his arm up his shoulder, rubbing there.

“Are you hungry?”

His following two discovers were disco and Thai food. He was surprised food could be ordered so easily and that came practically boxed and ready to eat. It didn’t taste like homemade food, but then again it was the first decent food he was eating ever since being unfrozen. Peggy confessed never getting the grip of cooking and that usually Sarah took care of that, although she could do the basic for survival. Steve didn’t want to give her any trouble and honestly it was a surprise of flavors to eat Thai food.

They sat on the couch together and chatted about the old days. Peggy explained several things about the modern days, questions he had. Steve was mostly shocked by the clothing style—as he found, leaving the headquarters, that Peggy was one of the little to be quite discrete comparing to the rest of the world who seemed to show a lot more skin nowadays. In their short trip he had also noticed the great use of tattoos, which he remembered to be frowned upon in the 40s. She was amused with all his remarks. Peggy knew the world to have changed much, but looking through the view of someone who had _just left_ the 40s and not lived all those ages in between, almost as a time traveler, was an interesting fair point of view. He wasn’t criticizing any of that, though the clothes really did shock him, Steve just seemed to be taking it all in on his own pace—that was usually faster than the others, Peggy had honestly once seen a human so adaptable and that was his daughter.

There were other things they spoke about that he didn’t write down, but it pretty much involved things he should know about the world around him. The Vietnam War, the World Trade Center attack, among happenings that had marked the country and the world in the past decades. She gave him a tour in the house and around some blocks where she lived, showing him important places he could want to go. Like groceries and drug stores, some diners and shops.

When sun was setting, she offered to take him to a bar nearby but Steve preferred to head home. They had their drinks anyways, as he fixed them some, in the old fashioned way Peggy didn’t even remember the last time she had, with the liquor they could find in her apartment.

“You know something that’s been bothering me?” He asked after somewhere between the second or third drink.

“What is it?” It seemed like her accent sounded a lot more audible when she was gazing him intensely in the eyes, but Steve thought it could be something only in his mind.

“That we still haven’t danced.” He had been focusing on the jazz playing on the background for a while.

When they got home, she had put one of her vinyl’s—something he was surprised to find she still had given the modern music playing technology, but Peggy seemed to be a collector. She had said it was a fifties collection of jazz singers and he had been paying attention to that for the past hour, fishing for his perfect shot. And there it was, a sweet and low melody along with an enchanting voice and the right dance partner. Steve placed both drinks aside and pulled her softly up.

“It’s Ella Fitzgerald.” She cleared; she had said before during their evening how she loved the singer. He nodded. When he swallowed hard after placing his hands one on her waist and the other pressed against her palm, Peggy frowned at his expression.

“I still don’t know how to dance.” The crushing feeling of their last goodbye came reaching to them both and Peggy stood still a few seconds, reminding herself it was all long gone and that he was there now. He was here, with her.

“I’ll show you how.” She quoted her own words and let her hand slid up his shoulder. Peggy pulled her body closer against his, swaying her hips smoothly to encourage him to follow her lead.

At start, she guided him, moving two steps to each side and letting him go with her steps. Steve quickly got the grip of it and replaced the leadership with his own, moving her around the tiny empty space of the living room. Swaying around slowly.

Her head leaned against his shoulder and they both wrapped tighter around each other. His arms wrapped both around her waist and even after the moved stopped, they continued dancing, dived into that embrace. The room became so silent that the only sound that could be heard was the rustling of their feet against the carpet and their breathing. Peggy could hear his heart beat, head pressed against his broad chest.

They stopped in sync to exchange a gaze. They didn’t say anything for several moments and then their lips just collided into each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Endless thanks to Ashley for the great 21st century ideas you found in this chapter. And to all of you, for sending the loveliest comments I've read. You keep me up and going, thank you!


	6. Until Love Runs Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting trickier with HYDRA approaching the best SHIELD agents. But while they're still oblivious about the master plan going on, Steve and Peggy can still make up for the time lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my dearest readers! Firstly, I'd like to apologize for my absence on updating my fanfics. Those who know me personally know I was graduating from college and I immediately got granted afterwards with a scholarship to my Master's degree program in acting. So the past year has been literally of study and preparations to move (this Brazilian butt is moving to LA in twenty, bitches). BUT I've managed to finally seat and read my fics again and figure where I want to go with them. So here you go, an update! I have four more chapters ready for this fic (and I'll be updating the others in the next days, for those who read more than one fic), so you do not worry about delay on updating. The next chapters will be posted daily, as I get them back from the beta. So, if you're still around, shoot me with a signal! Good reading ;)

**Until The Love Runs Out - Chapter Six - Part One**

Nobody said it was easy

It’s such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh, take me back to the start

 

I was just guessing at numbers and figures

Pulling the puzzles apart

Questions of science, science and progress

Do not speak as loud as my heart

But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me

Oh, and I rush to the start

Running in circles, chasing our tails

Coming back as we are

 

\-- _The Scientist_ , Coldplay

**Camp Lehigh, 1943.**

The tent was practically empty. Soldiers gathered by the moon to talk and root for a relaxing moment in that drastic and chaotic war scenario they had been inserted to. Steven Rogers, the soldier who had practically volunteered to do anything possible in a battlefield was the only one left out, by choice, of the laughter happening outside. He had excused after the first idiotic jokes coming from some soldiers and said he needed sleep.

Truth was Steve was used to that, it wasn’t that he didn’t fit in because Steve was actually the most adaptable soldier in that whole field, but he just knew better than waste precious sleeping time—that’d be much needed for the following day. Problem relied on the fact the scrawny soldier couldn’t exactly shut his eyes. Dr. Erskine stopped by and they spoke about the procedure, how everything was still a big puzzle to them all, and as tranquilizing as the conversation could have gone, Steve still couldn’t rest.

The soft knock on the door got him seating up straight in shock—or maybe it was the fact Agent Carter sneaked her head through the door as to see if he was awake. “May I come in, Steve?” Her voice was sweet and yet clearly surprised to see him awake.

Steve nodded in a heartbeat. Peggy stepped in the room and he was already standing up. She found amusing how every time she was around, in a non official visit, he’d be restless, nervous. Maybe it was because they had shared a more intimate moment a while ago and yet never spoke about it specifically. In the past weeks, ever since he managed a smart move of getting the flag off that pole, they had been bounding over. That day, in the car, Peggy had congratulated him on thinking beyond the obvious.

“ _Soldiers rarely do that._ ” She had said with a smile, writing something down on the paper in her hands. Steve had peeked behind her, noticing how she was noting something about him. _Strong wise, sees it outside the box_. He wondered then how many things she could have wrote already about his deployment. “ _It’s quite remarkable_.” Steve leaned back, feeling bad for creeping on her notes. That word she said though, _remarkable_ , always popped back in his mind when he though about her. It was silly, but the slight though of a woman like her—tough, breathtakingly beautiful, humble, inspiring, courageous, strategic, fearless, all the good adjectives he wished to achieve—thinking _he_ was remarkable, it made him unquiet and truly blissful.

“Is everything OK, Agent Carter?” He was standing nearby his bed, looking uptight like a piece of wood.

She looked around briefly and smiled. “You know you can call me Peggy.” She reminded him. It was still new to Steve, but he liked it, the sound of her name on his lips was like a melody.

“I’m sorry. Peggy.” Steve watched her step forward to meet him and motioned the bed next to his. Steve quickly nodded and after she sat down, he did the same in front of her—exactly like he and Dr. Erskine did a few moments before.

“I thought you’d be asleep.”

“I can’t keep my eyes shut.” She nodded at him.

“I suppose it’s understandable.” Peggy agreed and smiled. She seemed a tiny bit uncomfortable, looking around and taking deep breaths. He was also wondering why she went there. They talked outside camp, but usually on nights under the stars, never in his tent.

“Is everything OK?” He repeated his question, but paused then for a moment. “Are _you_ alright?” Peggy nodded again.

“I was wondering about you?” It was obvious she was worried about the procedure, but Steve was bad with signs.

“ _Oh_. I’m good, I’m okay. Maybe a little tense.”

“Do you know you’re allowed to say _no_ to this, right?” Steve promptly shook his head and for a second she thought he wasn’t aware of it, but it was a different _no_.

“I want this, Peggy. I want to be able to do something for my country.” He seemed a little preoccupied, as she noticed in his glance. Steve thought too often about all the people fighting, especially Bucky and others he knew, how they were giving everything and he wasn’t allowed to do any less than them.

“You already are, Steve.” She sounded a tide bit more exasperated than expected and stopped herself to straighten her own posture.

“I can’t even finish your daily training in a proper time or without having an almost asthma attack.” Steve complained in annoyance, a little confused by her shake of head.

“You’re skinny, so what? Doesn’t make your efforts in this unit any less worthy.”

“They’d crush me like bugs if I actually went in the field.” He insisted, a stubborn frown growing across his forehead. Peggy shook her head again a little annoyed by his obstinacy.

“Steve. Look at me. How many women do you see on this field that aren’t nurses? I’m not taking their work’s merit, but how many of them are training American soldiers?” Peggy’s tone was strict, serious, which made him slightly tenser than before.

“Just you.”

“I’m not the only one out there, but _here_ I am, we aren’t many though. Yet, we manage through. Above all, we do our work, what needs to be done, regardless of our gender. Your weight or health condition doesn’t make your work less needed.”

“But…” Steve paused, considering his words, thinking about hers. “You’re right. But I want to do better.”

“If you’re certain, I shall not be anything but supportive. I just wanted to make sure that’s what you wanted and that you know the risks you’re taking.” Steve nodded, though he still frowned upon her words.

“I do, I know…” His eyes looked for hers. On very rare occasions he allowed himself to glance her so deeply in the eyes. “I just—Why do you worry so much?” Then, her lips grew to a smile. She though rather amusing on how he had no clue on why it worried her so much. Peggy wasn’t exactly open about those things, but she never prevented herself of flirting him when they were alone. Now she realized he might not have noticed, or she just wasn’t that clear. It was remarkably cute.

“I supposed it’s past my bed time.” Peggy trailed off though, standing up. Steve followed her lead and they were two steps away from another. He was confused, she hadn’t answered his question, but he wasn’t bold enough to ask it again or why. “I’ll be the one escorting you to the procedure. We have to be there at eight o’clock on the dot.” He nodded. She smiled even wider when he didn’t ask anything about his unanswered question.

“Alright. Have a goodnight, Peggy.” She’d have left the room with that feeling of dissatisfaction she always did, when they parted every night with such simple farewells, at least ever since she had tasted his lips. But for a brief second, when she looked down that tiny Steve she knew, and the concern of the next day changing it all, Peggy took a leap of faith.

She stepped forward those two huge steps that separated them, trailed her hands up his scrawny chest, pulled him by the shirt to close the remaining distance between them and collided her lips against his. Steve was shocked, frozen for the first second. His lips barely unable to move. She did the job working her mouth against his, trailing her tongue between his lips. Steve’s eyes shut unconsciously and before he knew, his hands were gripping at her waist.

Willingly to learn, his mouth became bold, pressing against hers in what seemed a gentle massage. Smooth and slow, yet aching and desperate. A quiet storm from inside out.

He was breathless but couldn’t bring himself to part their lips, afraid it’d only be an illusion made by his creative mind—or some result of his inner passion and admiration for the Agent. So he didn’t back away, instead moving further trailing his hands up, tangling his fingers in her brown locks finding there the pins that kept the curls in place.

Peggy on the other hand, never shy, cupped palms against his cheeks, dived further with him. Mouth intense, sucking on his tongue that wanted to make its own war with hers.

A noise outside made them both jump away from each other’s arms. Peggy was breathless but Steve panted like she had made him do a hundred pushups. She couldn’t help her giggle looking at him, mouth swollen, dirtied by her red lipstick; hair mushed by her anxious and worried fingers; concerned stare. He was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

“Wow.” His gaze was equally of admiration. Goddammit, how could she be so stunning? Hair still perfectly in proper place, lips equally swollen and blurred, wild eyes and a stern breathing that brought him back to the reality where they had actually kissed passionately in his tent.

They stood like this for a couple of moments, taking in what had just happened.

“You should try to sleep.” When it was proven no one was entering or approaching the tent, she stepped forward reaching out for his face, fixing the spots of lipstick traces she left behind. “I’ll be here seven-thirty to escort you.” He nodded, too taken by the softness of her thumb pressing against his lower lip to process anything. “Don’t be late, soldier.” He didn’t say a word again and Peggy smiled genuinely proud with herself, turning on her heels to leave. “And stop getting so bloody shocked whenever I kiss you.”

Steve instinctively held her hand, stopping her exit. “Peggy.”

“Yes?”

He stepped closer. “Have a goodnight.” It was the sweetest thing, the way he bent over, almost tiptoeing, to press a kiss on her cheek while his thumb caressed her palm.

“You too.” She was blushing. Peggy didn’t remember the last time she had blushed so considerably, but it was Steve now who smiled like a proud son of a bitch. She was speechless, also very unlikely of Margaret Carter. Suddenly that, the affection they felt for each other, it became new to them both—in a different point of view to each.

After she went her way and Steve moved back to lie down in bed, none of them were really able to close their eyes, but for different motives this time. When they eventually did, it was to greet each other in dreams.

* * *

 

This fantasy, this fallacy, this tumbling stone

Echoes of a city that’s long overgrown

Your heart is the only place that I call home

Can I be returned?

You can, you can, you can…

 

\-- _Heartlines_ , Florence + The Machine

 

“Do you remember when you kissed me the day before my procedure?” Steve asked in a nostalgic tone, for him it felt like just yesterday when she pulled him towards her and kissed that shrinkalink boy that he was. Crawling on his chest as they sat on the living room couch, Peggy grinned.

“Of course I do, darling.” Mindlessly, her pointer ran up and down his chest, caressing the extension, covered by the white cotton shirt, with lingering sweetness. “I remember all our kisses.”

“That was probably my favorite...” He grinned too, still missing those times back when they had to live in the secrecy of their passion. This was good too, but so new and different, Steve still found a hard time not looking around before he leaned over to kiss her. “You were clearly worried and I’m pretty sure that kiss was what helped me sleep in the aftermath of the nervousness.”

“And here I thought it’d be one of those times we were jumping on each other’s bones behind the tents at midnight.” Peggy said dramatically and that made him poke her ribs, shaking his head softly.

“Those too.” He sealed it kissing her cheek. “But that time… It was special. It was the first time I made you blush.”

“After _I_ made you blush.” Peggy retorted with a wicked smirk that made him nod.

“Yes. But it wasn’t like you weren’t making me blush for the past weeks.” He huffed a little, thinking back how he was such a puddle in her hands. Steve felt like he still was, to be honest, as not that much time seemed to have passed for him.

“You were the cutest thing I had ever seen and so attractive and masculine at the same time… Your inner strength, your will to serve and help.” He noticed the dreamy tone in her voice and smiled wider, pulling her up close.

“I’m almost certain it was the other way around… I was the one swooning over you, even when you were calling us less vivid than your deceased grandmother.” They shared a laugh and Peggy reached out for his cheek, caressing it softly.

“You were always quite vivid for me, my darling. I was just doing what I do best in the field.”

“That’s a lie, you’re a great fighter too. Excellent trainer but equally good on body to body combat.”

“Oh, would you think so.” By the way she smirked at him, Steve could tell how drastically the air in their conversation changed.

“I _remember_ so.”

Lips connected like magnets.

* * *

 

**Lion, France. Present time.**

Sitting on a tall bench, Sarah groaned in pain when Natasha pressed a cotton, submerged in alcohol, to her wounded arm. “That was a close one, Sarah.” Natasha commented a bit disturbed and worried. She was skillful, she had to stich herself once back in the day, so she didn’t mind taking care of Sarah’s arm.

“He got me by surprise. Ouch!”

“Don’t whine.” Natasha rolled her eyes a bit, though her lips curved up slightly.

“Nat.” It was Clint who called out as he entered the room. They both glanced at him as he went and sat next to Sarah. “What’s the deal with this dude? He’s good. He was one and we were four, yet he managed to escape _and_ hurt both Sarah and Sharon.”

“How’s she?” Sarah intervened, questioning about her cousin.

“Resting, she’ll be alright.” Clint assured.

“Believe me, he wasn’t alone.” Natasha shook her head a little, focusing her eyes on Sarah’s injury, she knew Peggy would be mad about it once she learned what happened so she wanted to be on the good side to say she helped _fixing_ the team’s error. “I think I know him, but I’m not certain yet. He was trained by the same people who trained me, that’s certain. I know his moves and he knows mine, that’s how he predicted me and chased after Sarah.”

“You said it was ghost story…” Sarah pointed out, remembering her words before they left New York.

“If he’s really who I’m thinking, he was injected with the same serum as me which is a variety of… Well, Steve Rogers’ serum. Because he should be ninety now.” She explained, trashing some things and focusing back on them. “I was a kid when I met him and he was already very young for his age.”

“That man who attacked us doesn’t look like he’s ninety.” Clint pointed out.

“Exactly.”

“If he’s ninety, he’s the same age as mom.” Natasha nodded at Sarah. “So he was fighting during the war.”

“That’s what the story tells. What I could never find out was on which side…” Natasha thought for a moment. “They used to wipe out soldiers, test them… Back in the forties. He might be one of those. Or just someone who volunteered. I remember a couple of twins who did it in Sokovia, but recently. So he could pretty much from any country.”

“Including the States.” Clint concluded and Natasha nodded in agreement.

“This can’t be good.” Sarah sighed a little disturbed.

“We’ll figure it out.” Clint added optimistic. “I hope in the good way.”

* * *

 

I wish you’d hold me when I turn my back

The less I give the more I get back

Your hands can heal, your hands can bruise

I don’t have a choice, but I’d still choose you

I don’t love you, but I always will…

 

\-- _Poison and Wine_ , The Civil Wars

**New York, NY. Peggy’s apartment.**

There was a small breeze coming from the downtown part of the city always entered Margaret’s apartment, especially during this time of the year. Her room was chilly and even with the lights down, she saw him shiver just slightly.

“All right?”

“The cold just gives me some _chills_.” He explained very calmly. Instead of suggesting anything, she offered him the comfort of her warm and avid fingers, running them softly through his torso, covered by the lightest fabric of his shirt. Her hands ran a smooth and slow path up his chest, shoulders, neck. It was like Peggy knew exactly what she was doing, lighting up bonfires on his skin. The room air got heavier and Steve didn’t hesitate stepping forward. Needy hands across her waist, back, gripping over her blouse lapel until their skins met underneath it.

It was her turn to shiver.

Peggy gripped his neck purposefully pulling Steve towards her. Their mouths greeted each other in a passionate battle, fighting back and forth for control, and yet it seemed so much like a dance, synchronized and intense. Both were so willingly to offer and steal back domination.

She was painting when they pulled back. He had a stronger breathing rage, now, but his chest moved steady as well. When their eyes met, she was glancing Steve so lustfully, the intensity of all seventy years apart exchanged in a single gaze. He couldn’t help gripping her by waist and back closer again, making her gasp in anticipation.

“You have far too many clothes on, soldier.” She announced her discontentment with a grin and Steve, always an obedient man, pulled back just enough to remove the white fabric.

Peggy never forgot the day she first saw him like this, the Adonis figure stepping out of the machine, breathing deep and covered in sweat as if he had just ran a marathon. Yet, eyes and expression still looking so much like the scrawny man that stepped inside the tub few minutes before. Peggy had been scared for him all this time and he just appeared looking even better than he already was. She had been equally outraged and dazzled.

After that, she had seen him shirtless—naked more precisely, so many times. When they’d make love in the silent nights of the war camps. Or in cheap hotels every time she was to follow the Commandoes. And she had missed that sight so badly, she had missed him _so dearly_.

Steve did too. He knew little of what it was like to be apart for so very long. But it seemed deep inside he understood. The beautiful contrast of the red nails on his skin, the deep friction, the inner shiver that generated. He had most certainly missed those sensations only Peggy Carter caused him.

They stepped together next to the bed and Peggy was the one to push him down before she straddled him. They rolled over but she still managed to be on top.

Steve eyes roamed up as he supported his body on his elbows to meet her halfway for a kiss.

“You’re wearing too many clothes.” He repeated her words, putting his point out while already rolling her shirt up her body and off. The brasserie was very different to what he had been used to see her on. The war times asked for something more comfortable, even if Peggy always managed to wear beautiful undergarments. This was certainly more modern, delicate and gave her milky skin a breathtaking contrast with its deep petroleum blue. He was happy to discover lace and silk still were an option in undergarments these days.

“Disappointed?” She wondered for a second before Steve promptly shook his head.

“They’re different but very beautiful. I hardly think anything could look bad on you.” His sweetness always melted her heart and she thanked him the compliment by pulling his hands and placing them on her breasts. Peggy knew Steve to completely worship them and he only a few times stepped over the line to that. They had been intimate for a very long time and then she found completely charming that he always asked if it was all right to do it. After seventy years, bloody hell, she _surely_ wanted him to touch her.

“They really haven’t changed.” He pointed politely, smirking. With a bit of effort, Steve sat up and let his hands trail to her back. Peggy frowned instantly, but as he unbuckled her bra it brought the smile back to the scarlet lips. The sensation of freeing them and his skin rubbing her sensitive areas were equally fulfilling. She let her hands move to his hair so she’d grab fistfuls of his locks, moaning his name low.

Steve was eager on his touch, but as well gentle and patient. Squeezing them softly between his palms, lingering his caress on her hardened nipples, until he finally replaced one hand with his mouth.

Peggy gasped gripping his hair tighter between her fingers, a deep sigh escaping between her lips. God, she almost cried out. In normal circumstances, the touch would have been appreciated indeed. But that was Steve doing it, the man she thought to have lost for so long. The realization of that made her whole world narrow down to them, to the fact they were finally together again, given all the odds.

“ _Steve_ …” Peggy breathed out heavily whilst her chest arched towards him. It didn’t make him stop, instead working as his fuel when he moved to give the other breast the same amount of attention.

He could feel her heartbeat, steady against his lips. Goddammit, he had missed her and he didn’t even realize how much that pained him. He tried to private himself for those thoughts ever since he woke from that endless sleep. But now that they came up to the surface, Steve realized how much he loved Peggy and how the years he had been frozen only served his inner self to grow to love her even more.

And Steve was about to show Peggy how much he loved her.


End file.
